[00:00:00] Speaker A: I am Lolita E. Walker. I am a certified life leadership and executive coach. I'm also a power speaker, motivator, Tedx speaker, all of the things podcaster. I'm trying to do it, but do it with intention and do it with power. So when I come to you for this power half an hour, it's really to leave you with a little bit of coaching cocktails and conversations. Welcome to coaching cocktails and conversations with Lolita E. Walker, the podcast that coaches you up while meeting you exactly where you are, grab your water tea, pull something stronger and allow this podcast to help you feel the power in your pause. Come on in and join the conversation. Let's go.
My topic today is climbing the ladder of success.
Climbing the ladder of success.
And today when I chat with you, imagine a ladder right in front of you. Imagine the rungs or the steps that are right there. Imagine climbing. Imagine climbing to where it is. Your destination is really, that's all about clarity. Where is it that you're climbing to? Plus confidence. Your increased confidence as you go up every single step equals your commitment to doing this thing. And before we, we go all the way in, I think the power is what is success? How do you define success?
You know, success. And if you follow me for any stretch of the imagination, and you would know, especially if you came to my women's weekend renewal retreats or corporate retreats. I always talk about, according to Lolita E. Walker, there are these eleven aspects of life, okay? There's eleven aspects of life that range from spirituality to occupancy to career to financial. All of these aspects of you, the person who you are, these aspects of this thing called life. And if you think about, we have all of these keys or these doors inside of us. Eleven, according to me, how do you climb each of these ladders being the one person who it is that you are? So I want to talk about that a little bit today because sometimes what I found by talking to people, even from or seeing the struggles that some people had, sometimes we believe that we got to be on all the ladders at one time in order to be this holistic us. And the reality is, think about the ladder. You got to be stable on it. And so where are you in each of the aspects of your life? Now if you have your CCNC journal, then I want you to grab that because we're going to do a little bit of soul work here. And if you don't, then a sheet of paper or really closing your eyes to think about the ladder that's right in front of you and thinking about maybe it's even a five or six ladders. I just told you that I believe that there's eleven aspects of me.
So inside of me are these eleven doors inside of me, and at each one I'm imagining that there is this ladder, okay? And so if you've, if you follow me, then you know what each of the eleven are. But I just gave you a couple of them right there. And, you know, when we talk about just life, when we talk about our life ladder, when we talk about our life ladder, what does that mean?
How do we impact every single day? I oftentimes talk to you all about when you're no longer here. What will people say about you and are you living in that way right now? Like, what do you want people to say about you and are you living in that way yesterday, a good friend of mine, a family friend, a really good friend, someone who's known me for over, probably over 35 years at this point, passed away.
You know, I just talked to her. I just was at her house. I would go to her house and walk, literally, she lived right beside me. And I could go, and I could walk on a grass with no shoes. I would go in there and talk to her. And so I want to lift her now. But as I think about the ladder and the steps of where she climbed, to see what people say about her today is to know that I had the power to say that to her while she was here. And so part of the latter in life is, if success to you means making these meaningful connections, if success to you means leaving an imprint when you are here, then tell the people that matter the most what they mean to you in the moment. It's crazy, because the other day I was. I went to my mom's house, which is where she lived. Y'all know I just moved in, so. And I had just been over there talking to her and hanging out the other day. And I went to my mom's house and I looked to her house, which is literally right beside my mom, and I said, I really should go over there tonight. And I was exhausted. And I was like, ah, I'll catch you tomorrow.
And when tomorrow doesn't come, you think about those times. But what I want to remind you is on this ladder of success, we have no time for regret. But what we can do is cherish each and every level of the steps that we're sitting on. So that's what I want to talk to you all about today is what are your ladders one might be life, one might be health, one might be school, what might be occupancy or your home. There could be so many different levels. One is financial and where are you stepping on those? So the considerations, I'm going to leave you with a lot of them today and I might be all over the place because I got a lot of things on my mind, but I want to leave you some considerations. When we think of climbing a ladder and when we think of what success looks like and feels like, when we think of the safety of, you know, some people are scared to climb a ladder. Did you know that? And sometimes it's this trust thing. Who's at the holding the ladder? Who's in your community? There's so many different relations and aspects to this metaphor of a ladder. And so that's why I want to use that today is how are you climbing to your levels of success?
I see that there's some comments coming on and I'm intentionally not saying them right now because I'm already tearing up and so I'm just going to hold on to that for 1 second and then I'll come back to you all. But I appreciate whatever it is that you all are saying and I'm sure it's about condolences and impact and I will commit to checking those in a minute and sharing those on the live.
But now I want to just make sure I can leave these things with you all today because it's also powering me at the same time. So when you think about health, when you think about your health, and let's say you're on your health ladder at this time, are you feeling vibrant? Are you feeling energized?
It's not just a number that's on the scale, but it's feeling comfortable in your skin. It's really getting to what does success for health look like? What is your, why? Why are you doing this thing? When you think about home, is your home your sanctuary right now, is that what success feels like? Is it filled with joy and love? Does it. Does it embrace you when you come in? Does it smell good when you're there? Is it able to play soft sound? Is it giving you that space that is allowing you to pause inside of these moments? Your life's ladder, is it you living authentically? What does that look like? Is it pursuing your passions? Is it your success? Is it ticking off checkboxes? Like, what is that? When I give you these examples, it is what does success look like to you when you think about life? Does success look like keeping in touch and letting people know how much they mean to you in your life or celebrating those memories and taking time for those smiles and saying, I'm going there today or I'm gonna call that person today. What does success look like? Your community ladder? Is it that you're making a positive impact?
As we think about this, you know, it's really all about different levels and different steps on your journey. Okay, I want. I want you to think about that. Different steps and different levels on your journey. So yes, we're picturing this ladder. Okay, we're picturing multiple ladders. For me it doesn't feel overwhelming because I know I am the individual and it's of me. There's these eleven doors. If I was coaching you, I would be saying, you know, I want you to close your eyes and imagine there's these eleven doors inside of you. And it could be anywhere. Not just in your chest but all over your body. Because eleven can't fit all in one place. They could be in your arms. All of these places that make up you who it is that you are. And if we label each one of these doors with the eleven aspects of life, then I want you to think about where you are in that level. And sometimes they're right beside of each other, sometimes they're far away. And you gotta make sure you put some things on pause while you're handling these other aspects of your life. And so we want to think self awareness.
Which rung are you on? Which step are you on right now? Acknowledge it, don't judge it. Where are you on that? Maybe you want to get better and that's amazing because you know where it is that you're going. But right now I'm on this level. Right now I don't want know where I know where I want to be financially. But right now, what if you're in a situation where you say I'm not there yet and so I have these, these wrongs or these steps that I want to climb when it comes to my financial journey. And so I'm stepping on this one right here because I've been on the ground level. I'm stepping up to rung number one right now. And I'm saying to myself that today I will make it a point that I am going to save x amount of money per week, period. I'm going to not only do that but I'm going to step up another level because I'm going to make this direct deposit happen.
Therefore I don't see it. And it doesn't become something that's on my mind. Oh, I forgot to do this. I'm going to automatically make it happen.
Those are some things that if your journey is to be at a certain place by a certain time, I want you to think through. Remember, there was one of my podcast episodes where I talked about not only clarity plus confidence equals commitment, but I also talked about an umbrella in these different aspects of life, but the difference between what your overall plan is and what your strategies are. And sometimes you got to take a look at that so you're not getting overwhelmed, and so you could do things in bite sized chunks. Okay. All right. Let me go to the comments now because I'm a little more settled. Thank you so much, doctor Jeannie. I appreciate you in the midst of it all. I'm very excited about your news for coaching cocktails and conversations. Look at that. Sometimes when a door closes, a window opens. Sometimes. So let me talk to you all about. If you all haven't been following my journey, thank you so much for mentioning that, Doctor Jeannie, I definitely wanted to mention that. And thank you so for your condolences as well. You know, one of the things that I wanted to mention also is if we think about entrepreneurship and so business, one of the things on my ladder for what success looks like, because I have this whole vision for Walker and Walker enterprises. I have these different legs that or these different spokes from my umbrella of Walker and Walker enterprises. And one of them is coaching cocktails and conversations, which spans my podcast, which brings my. I have a clothing line that really is around coaching cocktails and conversation, merchandising and all of these things. What I knew, in order to get to the level that I want, as much as I talk about coaching cocktails and conversations, that I wanted to make sure that I got that thing trademarked. I got coaching cocktails and conversations. The name trademarked, the logo trademarked. And if you've gone through the trademark process, then, you know, it's like a year long process. Seriously, when people tell you it really is a year long process, and it's been going for quite some time. And yesterday, I think it was yesterday or either the day before I posted that, I finally got the trademark, and I am so super excited. And when I think about that, I think about where the steps are, I think about what success looks like to me. And so at the end of the day, when I'm celebrating for my business, when I'm celebrating Walker and Walker enterprises, when I'm celebrating that coaching cocktails and conversations is a large part of that. And there's so many things I want to do around coaching cocktails and conversations that for me, it meant making sure that that piece was mine, making sure that that piece of was mine. And that's so important. And so that came this week. I'm so excited. Thank you, Doctor Janie, for calling that out. And I also want to talk about when life closes a door. Exactly. When life closes the door, so many other windows are open. And Miss Mirinda was such a strong supporter of me in my political space. And just growing, just. She gave my brother his first job. Just all of these things, the people that you touch, sometimes you don't hear from them until you're no longer here. And to hear from so many people that are saying the impact that she had is to know that there's a smile on her face, shining down. And I'm just so excited to have been a part of that. Miss Miranda was such this strong supporter of me in so many different ways. Making sure I'm tapped into the right communities, making sure I'm tapped into the right resources. She just had such an amazing spirit and had my well being at first of mine. Right? And I'm talking to her and she said, lolita, I'm actually supporting a candidate in another place. But I tell you that because sometimes you don't know who's in your community. You know the names, but you don't know the power that they have, the influence that they have, the desire that they have, or the want, the need, their hopes to be able to support you. And you don't ask for the help because you don't even know what that help looks like. But sometimes it's in the midst of circumstance that you say you're not a replacement, but you're sliding right on in where Miss Miranda really was able to stop with a light. And that is so amazing. And I wish that for every single person here is that when we are no longer here, I hope that we've left enough footprints in the sand where somebody can just come right in and grab the torch and continue to move. Because impact matters. And that's what we talk about here. That's what coaching cocktails and conversations is all about. That's what moving your business forward is all about. That's what shifting into going back to school looks like for you, or going into that trade, or getting that certification, or increasing your health, or what your home ladder looks like, or what your spirituality journey looks like. What are all of those pieces to the puzzle that you are going to grab hold of and acknowledge where you are stepping on that ladder inside of this moment. So good. Some of the things I want you all to think about and consider as you are going through these different levels and different steps on this ladder is be self aware, have a mindset that you absolutely matter. I want you to. I want you to grab that mental grip. I want you to mentally grip. That's that, that step right there. I want you to know, trust and believe that right now my mental matters. And so my mindset matters. How am I thinking about this? How am I talking to myself about this? Am I clear on where it is that I'm going? And that is making sure that you're clear because you know which ladder you're climbing at this moment, your support system, who's at the bottom holding it up, your balance. Don't skip the rungs. Don't try to go up two steps. We're not going to do that because you might fall, right? You might fall, and we don't want that. Now, failure falling is a thing, but if we can help it, we're going to climb with intention. We're going to do this thing one step at a time. And just know that and have patience as you're going up these ladders. No regrets. Patience where it is that you are. And sometimes you might got to step down the ladder because you got up there and realized you didn't have all the tools and things to be successful there. You might not have recognized that being successful in that moment meant this. And so you might got to go back down the rung in order to grab it all up. You know, sometimes when you're taking a test, I was taking a test the other day, doing a certification for one of my classes. And so I'm taking this test and I realized I'm at the, you know, answering the questions for the test. I was like, oh, I got to actually go back a couple slides and remember what that was because I didn't write it down. Sometimes you got to go back a level and actually get clued up or trained up in what that is so that you can be successful at the next ladder. What do I want you to think about? Safety first. When we're climbing the ladder, remember, if you just get in here or if you forward it through, then what we're talking about is, how do you successfully climb this ladder? Right? Climbing the ladder of success. What does success look like to you? Knowing it, trusting it, believing it, declaring it, and then recognizing that sometimes we have different ladders. So I want to bring in this notion of safety. When you climb a ladder, you got to, first of all, choose the right ladder. Which ladder are you climbing? Okay, we got it. We got to be clear on which ladder that we're climbing. Right. Just like you select the appropriate ladder for the right task, I want you to consider the right steps on your journey. And sometimes we don't get all the steps right. Okay. Sometimes we don't get all the steps right. As a matter of fact, sometimes because we skip steps, we realize that we have to go back. I just kind of talked about that. But each ladder has a different load rating. Y'all know that, right? So you don't use the little baby ladder because that might not hold all of the things. You might not use a super skinny ladder for the task that you have. So I want you to think about that. When you're thinking about climbing this ladder, you have to realize that our goals have varying weights, how we're climbing. We might have a lot on our shoulders, some of which we got to let go. Which ladder are you climbing in? Which might you have to let go? Is the capacity ready for you? Inspect the ladder before you use it. Right. Check your ladder for defects. I'm a pause on that one. Check your ladder for defects.
Assess your progress along the way. How am I doing as related to my goal? And have I shifted so far that I'm not even. I look like I was on the ladder, but I'm not even on the ladder because really, when I look down, I'm standing on the ground because my head was so far up, I'm not even on the right ladder right now. I want you to think about those things and then your physical capability, can it hold you? Are you even physically capable of climbing this particular one? I want you to think about that because if you're not, then let's get the tools to help us with that. Right. Success requires when we think physically. Stamina, resilience, your balance, all of those things are important. When I think physically fit, climbing this ladder, you've got to have these aspects. And are you ready? Because when you climb your ladder, I want you to be ready. And we're not going to use that as a, as a pause and a cause to say we're not going to do it. We're not going to let fear be in a way. We're going to shift that right on over and be able to walk up this ladder. And I want you to know, like, mind your surroundings.
Be mindful remove the clutter and distractions that might be there. We want a clear path. And sometimes when we get there, because sometimes our load is just so physically draining and daunting and heavy, sometimes we got to move the clutter and the distractions off. And this can be whatever ladder you're climbing in your ladder to success.
And then, of course, when you think about a ladder, you're not going to lean back on it, are you? No. Avoid leaning away.
Make sure you pull on your goals. You're climbing up. You're not leaning away. We're not running away from fear. We're not saying, you know what? I've been meaning to write this book. I really have been, but I'm not ready because we're not doing that. We're walking into it. Why? Because, as I shared this morning, tomorrow is not promise. And I want you to live every single day to its fullest. And sometimes it's really tough to do that because we get caught up in all the minutiae. We're trying to climb so many ladders. Our success metrics are all off success. Today. If you take nothing else away, I want you to reevaluate what success looks like to you in different aspects of your life. Shift it a little bit. We might have to go get a different style of ladder because we've been climbing the wrong one for way too long. We might have to see if we're really wearing this slip resistant footwear as we're climbing because our mindset might need to adopt a little differently.
Okay, I know I'm saying a lot of things to you all right now, but I hope that you're able to take some things away. And so as we. I want to kind of round out this and be able to open it up for any questions or comments that people might have. But I really want to talk to you about decoding this acronym ladder of what I'm going to lead you with today. L a D D E R. So if you're writing, if you're thinking, I want you to take these down. Today is.
The l on this ladder of success is to learn continuously. I want you to climb with some curiosity. The world is endless.
The world. The opportunities, your imagination, your creativity. Yesterday I talked to my high school that I graduated from. If you've been following me on socials, you know that they showcase me on a black, not black history month, but the women's history Month board. I was so super excited. The things you don't think about when you're in high school or impact and all of the things. So I went there yesterday. They asked me to come and speak to the student government association because I was on the student government association and was a leader in the student government association when I was there. And I had the ability to talk to so many different amazing scholars in their curiosity is amazing. Like, the questions that they ask, where they want to be, where they can see themselves, there are no limits. What they think about. I don't even know that I was thinking that vast at that age. But I want you to climb with curiosity, okay? Learn continuously. Ask questions some people don't ask because they don't want to look crazy. Well, how you gonna. How you gonna climb up your own ladder if you don't understand? If there's something on one of the steps that you don't understand, I want you to ask. You already have the know I want you to ask. And then I want you to also do your best to learn continuously, but also to dive into you, learning on your own, you going and getting the information for whatever aspect of life that you're. You're thinking about. Then the a is about assessing your progress. I want you to pause. I want you to look around, see if it. How far you've come, where it is that you're going. And I want you to define your own success.
No one dictates what success looks like to you except for you.
You define what success looks and feels like. I remember talking to Miss Miranda about what success looks and feels like, and as she was talking about retirement, finally. And what success looked like for her in life. And if I really think about how she describes success, she's done all of the things.
She's done all of the things. Job well done.
So amazing. Then the other d is daring to dream. Daring to dream bigger and bolder and brighter than you can even imagine. I want you to reach for the stars and dream big, because who told us that there was a limit? You've not reached the sky. There is no limit to the greatness of who it is that you are. Keep on dreaming. Then I want you to embrace your setbacks. It's all right. Sometimes you slip. Sometimes you fall down the ladder. It's okay. You gonna keep on going. You won't just get back up? What do we tell our kids? Sometimes you gonna fall, but you're gonna get right back up. The other day, my son was. Was making some oodles and noodles inside of the. Now ramen noodles are classic. I don't know. Now it does come in a packet and it is, you know, dried. And it's probably not that good for you, but it's a staple for all things. And he was making some oodles and noodles inside of the microwave and everything, and he went to grab it. Now, he knows he should have on the little pot holder things to pull it out, but for this, he was distracted and he pulled it out. And, you know, it's hot, right? All the. It's steaming, boiling water and it falls on him and he scream, oodles and noodles everywhere. The thing is that he knew. He knew. And we know, I tell you that because we know sometimes what it is we need to do, but because of distractions, they get it away and we all off our ladder, right? What does success look like? Well, you clearly wanted to eat the food. That's what success felt like inside of that moment, but you didn't get to it because of all the other things that were going on. I want us to pause in our moments and know and trust and believe that there's a goal to where it is that we want to get. Did he. Did he fall? Yes, he got a burn and it was killing him. I said, listen, the burn is going to hurt for two days. It's going to hurt tonight. It's okay. And he was complaining about us. Hey, we can't change the burn happening now, can we? No, but what we can do is put something on it. What we can do is do the things in order to soothe it right now, inside of this moment. And guess what? I know he'll never do again. Through his tears through his tears he said, I'm never cooking noodles again. Well, that's not really the answer. And I know you probably feel that way because you don't want to go back into it, but no, you just need to follow the rules. You just need to make sure you're not taking it out with the burning, boiling water right there so that it could fall. We all have bumps and bruises. We all have slips and falls. It will happen. But knowing that we can get back up and do it again is amazing. I want to leave you all with that. And then the r is really rising together. We don't do this thing solo. I want us to be able to rise together. So I only have a minute, but really, because I was talking and thinking and doing all of the things. But if anybody has one thing that they want to add, feel free.
[00:25:03] Speaker B: One of the things that I've lived my life is to try to be a role model. And congratulations, because that's what you are, and we will lose people. That is part of it. I'm an older woman and I'm restarting. I'm rebuilding. And you know what? I get feedback every day that tells me that I'm doing something right. Listen to the feedback. So, and if anybody's getting this message, please do, because we're not our brother's keeper, but we are there to support and to lift people up.
[00:25:41] Speaker A: Thank you so much. Thank you so much. That means the world. And I love that you said, listen to the feedback. Listen to the feedback. Listen to the good things. Because the good things people don't tell stories about. You know what I mean? Listen to those good things and let them center you. Take them, let them center you. And I tell you all, all the time, let's make sure we're writing our small wins and capturing them. Tell people in a moment what you know and trust and see about them. And I just want to say thank you so much. I so appreciate that. So appreciate that.
[00:26:12] Speaker C: Lolita echo always the feedback you receive in this room. You're an amazing speaker. And you know why? I love listening to you speak. You give very practical, humble advice, words of wisdom. You keep it real. And I just always love listening to you.
[00:26:33] Speaker D: We have concluded yet another episode of coaching, cocktails and conversations, the podcast with Lolita E. Walker. Connect with
[email protected] for speaking, coaching and my books. The intersection of unchanged and can we talk letters and poems to reclaim a boulder? You listen. Have you already grabbed your CCNC garb?
Yes, we are coming with tumblers, stimulus glasses, a journal, a hoodie, and don't forget the t shirt. We are leaning all the way in. We also know that coaching, cocktails and conversations is a movement. Not only, not only is it paraphernalia, not only is it this powerful podcast that you have right here in this right now, but it is a Zoom cast. It is a coaching community. It is a Facebook group. It is a clubhouse group. Go ahead and lean into lolitawalker.com to see all things coaching, cocktails and conversations. And next time bring a friend. Invite them to like to share and, and to give that five star review.
[00:27:43] Speaker A: Cheers.
[00:27:44] Speaker D: I cannot wait to see you back around my kitchen table for coaching cocktails and conversations, the podcast with Lolita E. Walker.
