[00:00:00] Speaker A: If you're a woman or if you're a man as well, but particularly if you're a woman and you're like, I know I need to change and make a difference. You need to listen to what's coming next. Cause I promise you, it will be a gem. My name is Ramon Rae. Please join me in welcoming the absolutely amazing Lolita E. Walker. Lolita, the mic's all yours.
[00:00:20] Speaker B: Woo hoo. Oh, my goodness. I can see myself right now running down the aisle saying, yes, yes. Getting the crowd hyped up because the Ramon Ray, the Ramon Raydhe has introduced me and has made it just such a power play. Sometimes you need the people to pump you up so that you get pumped up so you can then pump the people up. So today, Ramon, I just simply want to say thank you. You're welcome.
[00:00:45] Speaker A: Love you, Alita. Thank you for your consistency. Message girl. The mic is all yours.
[00:00:50] Speaker B: Absolutely. Boom. And bam. I am so excited to be here today. Welcome to coaching cocktails and conversations with Lolita E. Walker, the podcast that coaches you up while meeting you exactly where you are. Grab your water, tea or something stronger, and allow this podcast to help you feel the power in your pause. Come on in and join the conversation. Lester, listen, if you do not have a Ramon Ray in your life, you are missing out. You are absolutely missing out. So if you are not already tapped into Ramon Ray, make sure you do that. He just. Just google him. Just google him, okay? Just google him and you will find him on all of the platforms. And one of the things I can absolutely say, as we get ready to jump into this topic today, we are going to be talking about decoding our communications to navigate clarity. Okay? We're just jumping right onto the train that Ramon was already on because we're going to take it even bigger, better Boulder. We're going to take it a little bit further down the tracks because, listen, when you show up consistently, you're already navigating. You're already navigating in clarity. And today I want to chat with you about decoding our communications. Now, here's the thing as well, you guys. You all come here for motivation and inspiration and education and all of the things. You come here for a little bit of coaching, cocktails and conversations. You come here to join the conversation live. You come here to catch the replay, get all of the juiciness, and be able to move your life forward just a little bit differently than where you were going today. I get all of those things, but I want to remind you that also within here are people that's looking on that are future or budding entrepreneurs. There are people that's looking on that are in the corporate spaces, moving and navigating and doing all of the things. There's people that are here that are ready to get in front of these huge stages and be not only entrepreneurs, but powerful speakers. And today, I want to clue you all in. Did you all know that Ramon Ray is having an amazing event? Did you all know that he has a call for speakers? I don't know if you knew. So the thing is, when he talks about showing up consistently, did you all know he's on USA Today. Did you all know that he's been in all of the places and spaces and met all of the people doing the things? Did you all know that he's started businesses, purchased businesses, sold businesses, doing all of the things? You've got to show up in order to be inside of the building. You got to show up and then you got to act. Today we're talking about decoding communications, and sometimes. Here's the thing. It's already decoded for you. It's already right in front of you. But the. But we're looking in different places and spaces. But it's right here. It's right here.
You want to get in front of a stage. You want to be right there on top of the stage and get in front of some power players. Apply to be on the stage.
You're already at the table. I want you to now move the chair up a little bit more. Apply. You already have the know. Get in there. Do the work. Do the work. I'm so excited for you. I can't wait to see you there. Cause I'm committed. I will absolutely be there.
[00:04:09] Speaker A: Spring 2025.
[00:04:10] Speaker B: Spring 2025. Get it together. Spring 2025. Get it together. And guess what? You, too, can be a panelist. You, too could be a breakout room facilitator. You, too could be a keynote speaker on the main stage. Get in where you fit in. Get in where you fit in and join the table where people are. So I just wanted to put that out there for all of the people that's listening in. Because as we progress forward and as we start talking about decoding our communications to navigate clarity, sometimes the code is right in front of you and it doesn't need to be decoded. It just needs you to pick up the sheet of paper and then to do the work. So let's get into this, you guys. I am Lolita E. Walker. I already had just a fabulous, fabulous, fabulous introduction. I'm already on the stage for each of you. All right, now I want you to grab your CCNC journals. That's coaching cocktails and conversations for all of you. All who don't yet know. I am a power speaker, a TEDx speaker and author and all of the things. And today I like to come to you and bring you what I like to call a power. Half an hour. We're going to get in and we're going to get out. But I'm leaving you with some juicy nuggets today so that you can shift and change and navigate a little bit differently. Today we're talking about decoding our communications to navigate clarity.
We're on LinkedIn, we're on YouTube, and my Facebook group, coaching cocktails and conversations, which I will post this immediately following on breakfast with champions on Clubhouse. We're in all of the places. And when you hit share, then somebody else will be able to pick this message up. So they're not trying to decode all of the time. They already have the information. Don't be a stranger. Make sure you help somebody else out. That's also on the journey. I was talking to a trucker friend and it started. It started me thinking about the trucking industry. And so today, this episode is going to be really with a metaphor of truckers. Okay. We're using a little bit of trucker lingo, so I hope it's hip and it's all of the right things. And that back in the day, as I was talking to my trucker friend and we were talking about overall communications, and I wanted to talk to you about hidden messages that's already right in front of you. The hidden messages that's in front of you. Flipping perspectives and then building bridges from where you are to where you absolutely want and deserve to go. I want to talk to you about those things today. So grab your journal, grab your thoughts, close your eyes, and I want you to think about you as a trucker driving down the street. Remember, we are talking about decoding communications to navigate clarity.
So this highway or byway that we're driving down, right. We're headed towards clarity. It's beautiful. It's beautiful. We're passing by. Mountains are in front of us. We sometimes see the sunset because we're on this long haul journey. We're on this long haul journey. And the first thing I want to say is, breaker, Breaker, one nine. Breaker, breaker, one nine. Well, what does that mean? It means permission to speak.
Permission to speak. According to my. According to my trucker friend, who said Breaker, breaker 19? Yes, you've heard it in movies. Yes, you've heard it all around. But what does it really mean? Permission to speak? I'm ready to speak to you about something. We don't have to decode it because I'm telling it to you right now. Breaker, breaker, one nine. So when truck drivers use this phrase, they're asking permission to speak on their cv, on their radio station. That is their channel. That's designated a communications channel. So I want you to walk with me right here because this breaker, Breaker, one nine, they already have the communications channel 19 that's already set up. So they're asking for permission to speak to everybody that is listening around. So I want you to hear me that the communications channel is already set up. It's already set up.
I'm asking for permission to speak because I've got something that I want to tell you.
Our preferred ways of expressing ourselves. But sometimes do we really know what we're saying? So we're going to decode this thing together through the process of this power. Half an hour, I'm going to be gifting you what I love to call soul work. If you've been following me for any instance of time, then you know I love a good soul work exercise. And so today I'm leaving you with some challenging questions. So whether you answer it now, whether you come off mic and leverage the power of your voice, whether you type it into any of the platforms, whether you type it into a chat, whether you connect with me later, whether you look at it next week, when you have some time for yourself, I want you to take questions from each and every one of what I'm going to call these different sections along these little rest stops along your journey to navigate this. This clarity, this clarity in communications that we're going through. Okay? So we're saying, breaker, breaker, one nine. So what I want to ask you is, just like the truckers, we all have our communication channels.
We all have our communication channels. It is our preferred way of receiving and then giving information. And so what I want to ask you, I have three questions in every single section. And the three questions that I have for you is what is your preferred CB radio channel? What is your preferred CB radio channel for communications? How do you express yourself?
Do people know and are able to receive from you? Have you ever felt that you needed permission to speak up? Remember I said, breaker, breaker, one nine, have you ever felt that you needed permission to really speak up? And how did you navigate that space?
I want you to write these questions down, because the more and more you challenge yourself to think differently, to go inward, the more and more you show up a little bit differently and more intently. Think about it. The last question for this section is, think of a recent conversation that you've had with someone. It could be this morning. We've had lots of conversations this morning. Did you truly understand what the other person was saying?
Now, I want you to think about work. What's the last conversation you've had with somebody at work? Did you understand what they were talking about?
Did they understand what you were talking about? This is about truly understanding what people are saying. And so the first milestone that we're hitting is breaker, breaker, one nine. Permission to speak on a channel that already exists.
On Clubhouse, the channel already exists. Are you leveraging the platform to ask the questions? To talk out loud? To answer the questions?
Are you pushing yourself? Are you receiving the information? Do you know what the heck the person is talking about?
Is it relatable to you? Are you able to pull a nugget so that now you can enhance the way you move and you behave? Today we are going through decoding our communications to navigate this thing called clarity of which is right before us as we speak, as we lean in, as we show up. Guess what? All of this is helping us with the clarity where it is that we are and why it is that we are here. So break or break? A one nine. Do you need permission to speak? Break on in. I'm giving you permission. At this point in time.
Let's keep on going. Because the next thing on our journey, right, the next thing on our journey is that some truckers, they say, bear in the bushes. Bear in the bushes.
We're unmasking our hidden messages today. Bear in the bushes. Have you ever heard somebody say, that is trucker code for a cop is hiding out somewhere? There's a bear in the bushes. Usually it's a speed gun. But we know now that we just have speed cameras, and they get us all the time, so speed cameras. If you use waze, like I do, the navigation system waze, then you already have all of the cameras that pop up, and they're letting you know where they are. So there's a bear in the bushes. If you use waves and you see it popping up by the camera and we say, thank you for letting us know, as a matter of fact, you then can help somebody else decode what's coming up, because you have the opportunity to say, hey, there's a police unit right here. Hey, there's a camera right here. And you can put that in on your own to help other people decode what's coming up and be familiar with what's happening.
I remember when I first started driving, my father said, listen, if people flash their lights at you coming from the opposite direction, it means that there is a cop up ahead. Okay. I want to let you know that. And so you give them fair warning if you've just passed the cop, but you got to move out the way because the cop then can tell that you were giving somebody a warning and you, too, can get in trouble. But we want to let people know because somebody lets you know.
And I remember him telling me that now the days have shifted since I began driving, and so now we have things like ways that I'm talking about, but there in the bushes, and this is talking about decoding the communication. So sometimes people will let you know a couple of things, but they might say it in code. But do you understand what they're saying? And then do you take the next steps to say, hey, guess what? I didn't really understand what you said. Those are those unspoken cues or underlying emotions. So decoding these signals can actually lead to a better understanding of things, a smoother transition into your next phase.
Understanding what is happening is so super important. And sometimes we forget to leave space. I've been accused of this, too. Leave space for people to actually ask you the questions, to actually give in what they've just heard you say.
That's why usually when people speak to me and I'm having a juicy conversation with them, I'll replay back to them, particularly in coaching, I'll replay back to them exactly what I just heard them say. Because sometimes what you'll find is that what you heard is not what they intended. And so they have the opportunity right now to shift that. I want you to think about when you are communicating, when you're navigating this thing called life, when you're moving forward to go down this clarity called the sack, I want you to think about decoding the messages, which are sometimes right in front of you, asking the question so that you can get clear on where it is that you're going.
It's graduation season, and people are asking questions about scholarships. I went on this Facebook group the other day, and somebody had asked a question, and, oh, my gosh, if they didn't ask the questions, they wouldn't have had about 50 different people giving them resources for scholarships.
Sometimes it's the power of the ask that helps you to drive clarity on where it is that you're going, where I could have thought that it was going to be very limited. Oh, no. Someone asked a question inside of a public forum and then it doesn't only become me who can give you a limited amount that are very good. But now it becomes these 50, 6100 people that's giving you options for where scholarships lay.
Had you not asked the question, you wouldn't have this information.
When you go into different spaces, I want you to listen intently, but then ask the questions because it's time for us to decode the communications because we're right there in the places the avenues exist.
The avenues are there and you're already at the table.
I want you to think about what it is you can do in order to progress to where you're going. Because we're navigating clearly, because we want clarity. We're on this journey together. And there's people, even if you feel alone in space, sometimes, the trucker, they're by themselves driving this long, long, long journey. We're by ourselves. But guess what? Breaker, breaker one nine. There's an entire community that's out there that you're saying, hey, guess what? Permission to speak, because I have a question. I want to share something with you guys.
You have the ability to do that. And so the questions that I'm asking you inside of each of these, I want you to really think about and how can it really apply to you?
Now, I had never heard this next one before. I've never heard this next one before, but I said, wow, that makes a lot of sense. Greasy side up.
Greasy side up.
Oh, my gosh. I was like, what does that mean?
I'm thinking. And I'm thinking, so as you're this truckery and driving and you're driving greasy side up, you hear that? What does that mean?
We're going to flip the script on this one. So picture this. There's a flipped vehicle along the highway, greasy side up.
It's a warning for truckers that there's a crash along the way, right up in front of you, and there's a car that's been flipped over. But what does that mean and how can we apply it to this situation right here? Well, when things get flipped, because they do, there's misunderstandings, there's conflicts, there's unexpected twists. How do we stay grounded? How do we stay on the right side of the flip?
How do we stay right there? Well, sometimes we got to decode our own reactions because we control our reaction. So sometimes we have to adjust our tires so that then we get back on track of where we were going. Sometimes we get sidetracked. Sometimes the misunderstandings make us feel like we're flipped all the way over, greasy side up.
No, we're going to avoid that because we're going to start decoding these things now. We're going to start applying it to our life. We're going to start taking instances and applying it where it is we are inside of this moment. And so I want to ask you these three questions that I have for you today that I want you to really think about, which is, when was the last time that a conversation you were having took an unexpected turn?
When was the last time and then how did you get it back on track?
I want you to think about that greasy side up.
What strategies do you use to stay grounded when things get flipped over?
What are you doing? What strategies are you using? Are you listening intently?
Are you navigating this thing and choosing, am I going to just pass by this right here, or am I going to address it? But let me think about how I'm going to address it. Let me think about, is it worth my time, my energy? Let me go a little bit further. Let me play out the scenarios. What is it that I want to communicate to this person and how can I get it best across?
I was talking to somebody the other day, and I thought it was a pretty decent conversation that we were having, and our conversations are not always easy. And so we're having this conversation, and the person then says a couple of things to me at the end, and I say, I pause, and before I answer, I say, well, you've asked me two things and I really want to address them. The last one I'm not going to address because I'm going to take it that that one right there was rhetorical because that would take our conversation and flip it upside down. So let me just get to the first one.
And after I answered it, they say, you know what? That would have taken us off. And I was a bit defensive when I said that. But the conversation, I know that the response that they were looking for could have absolutely happened. But greasy side up, I already saw it. So when we can see those things, we're not going to get pulled into the rack. We on our way to clarity cul de sac. We already move in. We're already moving. You're not going to get pulled in. But what you can do is choose how you are going to respond. And so don't be the person that causes the greasy side up either. Come on. This thing works two ways. And I want to ask you, when was the last time that your conversation took an unexpected turn? Think about it. And how did you get it back on track? Were you the one that flipped it over?
Or did you pass by and it was flipped over? So now here we go. The second thing I want you to think about inside of this space is what strategies, again, do you use when there's already something that's been flipped over? And then to think of a challenging situation. We each have them.
How could decoding your reactions improve the outcome?
Sometimes it's thinking about not only the next step, but the next five or six steps because you're already moving. We got somewhere to go. We got people to see. There's people waiting for us at the end of this thing. I already see myself at graduation. You already see yourself standing on a stage at that next conference. You already see yourself being surrounded by power players. You already see yourself with your next book inside of your hand. You already see yourself where it is that you're going. So you choose if you have time, for the flipped over communications.
Breaker, breaker, one nine bears in the bushes.
We have time.
So now I want you to get on it, greasy side up, all of these things. We are decoding communications. This one right here, I didn't know either. Good buddy.
Good buddy. Have you ever heard truckers call each other's good buddy? Well, truckers call each other good buddies. It's a sense of camaraderie. It's a sense of community. What do you call your friends? It's a sense of community. Even among strangers, as strangers come in and they're truckers, it's just good buddies. That's what it's called. So as humans, we're all good buddies, one could argue, but we're all good buddies in this notion right here, what we're talking about. We're good buddies on this journey of clarity. We're good buddies on this journey because don't forget, the truckers are already a community, so they're already doing something that's like, what communities are you in? Are you in a communities of power players? Are you in a community of entrepreneurs? Are you in a community of power players? Inside of their organizations? Are you in a community of homeschooled moms? Whatever community you're in, are you decoding the communication so that you all can lean in together?
Decoding communications really means recognizing that everyone has their own CB radio. We each have our own CB radio with our own channel on it. We are here together. The people that are power players inside of coaching, cocktails and conversations, which is not only my podcast and my Facebook group is the name of so many. Thinks it's trademark, too. Did I tell you guys I got a trademark? I think so. So excited about that. These are the things that community. Right there we are community. Breakfast with champions is a community. Your CB radio is on. What channel is it on? We're. We're there. You could listen back to the replays. You could tap into somebody and ask questions. Leverage the power of where it is you are and who it is you're seeing. Break or break a one nine. Permission to speak because I have something to say.
Permission to speak because I have something to say. I want to help lean into this community. I have something to say. I have questions that's there. So who are your good buddies in life and how do you foster that camaraderie?
Are you waiting for someone else to pop in and be the leader of that group? Have you been a leader so long and now you're ready to step back? Or have you always been sitting in the back and now you're saying, guess what? It's time for us to come together. How many friend groups do you have? And you're like, oh, my gosh. It's time for us to get together. We'll schedule it. Get it scheduled.
If it means that much to you, go ahead and do the work. How can we listen more empathetically and then build bridges in our communication?
Sometimes the bridge is broken. Sometimes the bridge needs to be rebuilt.
We're not here forever.
Sometimes the bridge just needs to be rebuilt. In. In a stage of life where I am, you got to look and see. Are we going to rebuild this thing together? Let's talk about it.
Sometimes the wooden bridge. The wooden bridge that goes over the creek might be a little. A little creaky and need a little bit of reinforcement. I want you to think about that. How can we bridge this gap in communications?
And the last thing I have for you is sharing a story of a connection that you made by truly understanding somebody else's CB radio.
It's not always about us, even though we want to think it is, even though we get caught up sometimes in our day to day operations. Of all of the things today, I want you to remember that decoding our communications really starts with understanding our words. Not only that, but connecting to our hearts. Absolutely. You know when your communication was off, you know when you're receiving information and you about to go off, you know those things. But guess what we have self control. Absolutely.
So to my fellow travelers that's on this road with me today, to my fellow travelers that's listening in, that's navigating with clarity, that's now we are ready to decode the signals that are already here. We are able to boost our confidence. Clarity plus confidence equals what? It equals commitment. It was commitment on where we are going, what we are doing, how we are navigating. So you got to keep those ears on. You got to keep the conversations rolling. You got to do the things on this road. We are the truckers. To my fellow travelers, we are here. Breaker, breaker, one nine. We are here.
Give yourself permission to speak inside of the places and spaces. Give yourself permission to actually think about. Was my message received?
Give yourself space to ask, like, hey, what did you just hear from that?
I do that with my son all the time. Hey, what did you just hear from what I just said?
Well, he's younger, too, and I asked him that because sometimes I just want to make sure you're listening in. And so with the couple minutes that I have left, I want to go through here and let me see, why can't we just respect and obey the traffic laws?
What's the traffic laws? What's the traffic laws? There's laws in place. Sometimes. Sometimes you got to go out of the box and create your own. I just absolutely love that. Next is. I'm loving all of this. Victoria. Yes. Greasy side up, awesome. Greasy side up, awesome. Listen, I want to share with you. If you're watching me, look what I have. If you're not, let me tell you what it is. I am holding up my new book. It is called it's not fair, a book about divorce by a son and his mom. And guess what I said. My new book. No, no, no. Lolita. E. Walker and Walker. G. Bishop. It is ready. It is out. And I am so excited. I wanted to show you all this, not only because I'm super pumped that my twelve year old finally had the courage in his own time to leverage the power of communication. And he decoded his own communication because when he started this at seven years old.
So just as a step back, let me just read to you the back of this, okay? Because I could tell you the story, but it'll take me over time. It says it's not fair. A book about divorce by a son and his mom. Sometimes it's true. It's not fair. It's not fair is the story of a seven year old boy who has determined that life is not fair. After his parents divorce, he struggles to understand why his parents would choose to end their marriage. When he feels that the three of them, including himself, were once a happy family, he begins to ask his mom questions about whether the divorce is his fault. Life is simply not fair. According to him, this is a story of what so many children struggle with but don't always talk about. This book is an encouragement that as life happens, there's usually a bit of good that lies deep within.
I am so excited and proud of my son for sharing his story. He started this book when he was seven years old and he was struggling. We went to the library. I couldn't find a book on divorce for his age, a pictorial book. It wasn't there. And I said to him, what if your book was on the shelf to help people? And he wrote a half a page that day. I said, hey, just write what it is you're feeling inside. And he's like, you know what, I don't want to do this. It was too emotional for him. The communications was too much to try to get out at the moment. So every now and then I would ask him questions and I would just write a little something on what he had already started that I called his manuscript. He titled it it's not fair. That's what he wanted the book to be called, but he just didn't want any more parts of it. Every now and then I would ask him about it, but we put it to the side when I moved to this house right here. My son is twelve years old, so we started it at seven. When I moved in this house, I found the manuscript and I said, hey, look at this thing. Look at this manuscript. And guess who was ready to decode the communications that was sitting right there? He was. And now it has turned to this amazing, amazing book that is pictures and of course it has some soul work in it, y'all. Of course, cuz I'm his mamade and we did a little bit of that. And so I would love you to support my son and I'll talk more about it. But I cannot wait till he is able to go to some spaces and really talk to children who are navigating a divorce because it's so difficult. I was raised by a two parent household so I haven't experienced what he is experiencing right now. So the power of this, the power of communications, the power of navigating this journey, the power of doing those things is to be able to stand in fear sometimes and recognize that when you can decode it and make it so other people his age. Like, he can make it so other people his age. Those seven year olds that's navigating can see this thing and can hear this thing. Oh my gosh. The power of what you're putting in the world, you won't even know right away. So I want you guys to just think about that and I know I'm over time, so yay. Thanks, you guys. I'm super excited about where it is we're going. Breaker, breaker, one nine. Let's get it over. Done.
We have concluded yet another episode of coaching, cocktails and conversations, the podcast with Lolita E. Walker. Connect with
[email protected] for speaking, coaching and my books. The intersection of you and change. And can we talk letters and poems to reclaim a bolder youth? Listen, have you already grabbed your CCNC garb?
Yes, we are coming with tumblers, stimulus glasses, a journal, a hoodie, and don't forget the t shirt. We are leaning all the way in. We also know that coaching, cocktails and conversations is a movement. Not only is it paraphernalia, not only is it this powerful podcast that you have right here in this right now, but it is a Zoom cast. It is a coaching community. It is a Facebook group. It is a clubhouse group. Go ahead and lean into lolitawalker.com to see all things coaching, cocktails and conversations. And next time bring a fun invite them to like, to share and to give that five star review. Cheers. I cannot wait to see you back around my kitchen table for coaching, cocktails and conversations, the podcast with Lolita E. Walker.
