[00:00:00] Speaker A: Today's topic is truly in the midst of here is what is in the midst of. Dot, dot, dot. Here is what is.
[00:00:13] Speaker B: Welcome to coaching cocktails and conversations with Lolita E. Walker, the podcast that coaches you up while meeting you exactly where you are. Grab your water, peace, or something stronger, and allow this podcast to help you feel the power in your cause. Come on in and join the conversation.
[00:00:35] Speaker A: Let's go.
Hey, everybody. Hey. It is Lalita E. Walker for all of you. All that I don't know. I am so excited to be here. It has been a couple of weeks since I've gone live on all of my platforms, Facebook, to my coaching, cocktails and conversations crew, LinkedIn, hello, YouTube, how you guys doing? And of course, clubhouse for me, where it all started with half hour power hours. And today is no different. Today's topic is truly in the midst of. Here is what is.
In the midst of here is what is now. Before we get going, I want to say, hey. Crystal said, hey, sis. Good morning. Good morning. I'm so excited to see you. I've already said hey to all of the folks. Great morning to you too, Dr. Luckt. And how can I not forget, let me say this, you guys coaching cocktails and conversations. Cocktails is about cheering you on in every aspect of your life. And so I want to give a cheers right now to Stacey Luckett, who is now Dr. Luckt. She has defended her dissertation. She is now Dr. Lucktt. And that is such a great milestone that I am actually on my way to. So congratulations, Dr. Luckett. It is a journey indeed. When you grab these things, I want you to be able to leverage them. It's not just about being here for a half an hour. Good morning, Evelyn. That's my mom. Good morning. Good morning. It's always so exciting to be supported in so many ways. So also, to my 92 year old grandma, who likely is also listening with her. So, listen, you guys, in the midst of here is what is. Okay, so I love to give you acronyms. You're going to take away a three letter acronym y ou today. Go ahead and write that on your sheet of paper. But what I'd like for you to do, because I'm all about giving you soul work, right? I'm a certified life leadership and executive coach, a power speaker, board member. You name it, I'm doing it. Mommy. You add all of the things. Just like you, I am doing it. So on the left hand side of the page, I'd like for you to write in the midst of. And if you're in the bed. I want you to just think about it in the midst of. And then on the right hand side of the paper, it is. Here is what is.
Okay? So in the midst of. And then here is what is. And so when we leave today, when you go back and you reflect on all of the amazingness that you've heard, I want you to really think about at the end of the day. Here is where I stand. It is with me. It is you. That is why you leave with the acronym you. Today. In the midst of dot, dot, dot. In the midst of circumstance, here is where I stand. I'm standing right here in the midst of me starting my business and not having any customers right now, here is where I stand is that I know I have a vision, and I know I have a dream, and I know that there's more than what's happening in this right now, in the midst of my chaos, when it feels like there's a storm that is surrounding me, here is where I stand in the center of that storm. And so I love to take my clients through an exercise of in the midst of. Here is where I am. Imagine that there's a storm all around you, okay? Imagine that all of these things, this life, is just tumbling around you. And I'll use myself as an example so that you can get the gist of what it is I'm talking about right here. In the midst of me moving from one location to another place, yay, I'm in my next location. You guys, I just bought a property. So in the midst of moving, in the midst of buying, in the midst of driving an hour and a half to 2 hours to and from school every single day, in the midst of being a mom of an amazing eleven year old, in the midst of having board responsibilities, in the midst of the list can go on and on and on. And for you, it too can go on and on and on.
On the right hand side of that, what I want you to think is, but here is where I stand.
Here is where I stand. I stand in the notion that it is okay to have to drop a couple of things. It is okay to have to say no. It is okay to sit right here until I get my mind right. It is okay to ask for help. And so this acronym I'm leaving you with today of y ou, is that why? You ready? It's all about yielding to your pause in the midst of it all, here is where I am. Here is where I am. It's with you. Y-O-U. It is yielding to that pause. And if you follow me for any length of time, then I always talk about this power that is inside of your pause. And I have so many acronyms for pause, but today I want to leave you with the acronym this why? Is about yielding to your pause, putting your hands up in surrender and saying, you know what? I am. I'm sitting right here. I'm sitting right here in the midst of it all. And awareness is where it is that I am. It sometimes comes with tears. It sometimes comes with tears. In the midst of all of my tears, in the midst of the storm that is surrounding me, in the midst of every single thing that is happening in my life, right here, I find you. Y-O-U-I find that it's okay to yield to my power. It is okay to yield to my pause. It is okay to yield and know that I am not the circumstance that I'm sitting in right now. Why is this important right now? Why is it important that I talk to you about this bright and early on this day? It's because sometimes when we wake up, all of the things just hit us at once and we're unable to focus. We're unable to even move.
At my women's weekend renewal retreat, I've talked to you guys about that a million and trillion times. It was amazing. It was my 11th time. And what I shared with you all is that I had to yield to my pause. I had to go into the o, which is owning my yes but respecting my no.
Owning my yes and respecting my no.
I had to pause. I had to say, you know what? I love conducting these women's weekend renewal Retreats. As a matter of fact, this was time number eleven. I love them so much. And the people that continue to come gain so much from it. But what did I have to say is, listen, the no is for now. And I have to know that it will come back when I'm Dr. Walker. But I had to look at in the midst of all of the things, what am I going to own to say yes to? And what are the things I'm going to have to respect by saying no to? I want you to think about what is happening in your life, what is surrounding you, because you have these two columns in the midst of. In the midst of what? In the midst of joy, in the midst of becoming Dr. Luckett, in the midst of becoming who it is that you are. In the midst of even excitement, here is where I stand.
Knowing that and being aware of that is so important. In the midst of being a caregiver. Here is where I am. In the midst of being a caregiver, I know that I need to pause for myself sometimes. I know that I might have to call on somebody for a little bit of help so that I could just even leave the environment and do something that feeds me. In the midst of it all.
Here is where I am.
Here is what is. What is the reality of your situation?
And here is what is. I want you to think about that thing, because when we open it up, I want you to think about, can I really say this? What is my statement for this? In the midst of what, here is what is. Because you got to know that yourself. And not only do you got to know it, you got to write it, you got to see it, you got to articulate it. You got to be able to walk in it. Because sometimes when we put things down on paper and we look at it, we realize I got to shift to a different type of mindset. I got to shift so that I could grow. Because where I'm going is bigger, better, brighter than where it is that I am right now. Let's think about you. Let's think about your business. Let's think about you at work. Let's think about where it is that you're going. You got to know, you got to trust. You got to believe that my future self is standing right over there. And, hey, you guys, guess what? I'm talking to. Me, too.
I was just talking to someone the other day, and we were just talking about all of the things we have going on in our lives, all of the tasks, all of the tasks I've talked to you all about, these boxes of overwhelm, all of these tasks that we have, and how do you align it in your head so that it's all making sense? How do you write these things out and say, hey, here's the bucket of what it is. It's caregiving. And here are the tasks that have to be done. Here's the tasks that I'm doing and then aligning yourself to. But do I really have to do that? Am I going to do it? Am I going to delegate it? Am I going to disappear? This is owning your yes and respecting your no in the ways that you can get there. The exercises that I can help you through in order to get there, because at the end of the day, here is what is I gave you the why, the o and then the you. The you is really all about utilizing your resources. Utilizing your resources. How often Lolita, how often insert your name, how often don't we leverage our community that is around us because we're so full of what is happening inside of our lives that we rarely pause in the moment, in the midst of our storm, in the midst of our excitement, in the midst of all of the things, in the midst of life, in the midst of business, in the midst of school, in the midst of work, that we don't take the time to yield to the pause and then say, who can help me on this journey? Who can help me on this journey?
I know I'm not alone. And so what I want to encourage you to do is to really leverage this exercise. Whether it's now, you can do it again in another quarter, you can do it again at the end of the year. Whenever it is that you choose to do this, grab yourself an accountability partner and say to yourself, in the midst of dot, dot, dot, here is what is. And then I want you to think about this acronym, this flow, this place that you're going to sit when there's a storm happening all around you. What if you could sit right in the middle? The storm is still going to happen, but you can center yourself and say, hey, guess what? I am owning me. I am owning the power of you. The power of yielding to this pause, the power of owning my yes and respecting my no and the power of utilizing the resources that are around me. Because sometimes it's a little difficult to ask for help.
Sometimes somebody might hear what it is that's happening, and they might even come because they say, hold on, wait a minute. I didn't even know that. But now that I do know, now that I heard you talking about this, I want to help. And this is what I could do in order to help you. It might even be a question like, hey, would this look like help for you? Because I don't know, but this is what I think I heard. Is that true? Let me pause and see if anyone had anything that they wanted to add before I continue.
[00:12:02] Speaker C: Hey, lovely. This is Stacey. Thank you for the shout out. I did complete the doctorate right here.
I was going through it all. But I first want to say thank you for always lifting the pause, always lifting the owning the yes and respecting the no. Because that's where the faith comes in. When you. Faith comes by hearing and hearing by words. Hearing this over, you believe it by hearing it over and over and over, and it becomes a part of you. So I'm glad that the pause and the owning your yes and no, it's just part of your conversation. It's who you are because it is so important. But I do want to say that this important because as I was going through this journey in the midst of being weary, because you get to a place to where you are so weary. And my doctoral journey may not be the journey that everybody else goes through, but just the journey of life, sometimes you get very weary, you get tired. You can't see the finish line. But I had to focus in on. In the midst of going through all of that, my here is that failure is not fixed. I do have the growth mindset that Carol Dwick talks about. I do have the mindset that things will change.
I do have the passion and the perseverance to reach my long term goals. And although in the midst of affective disorder, I go to seasonal depression, in the midst of forgetting to plan, in the midst of, I do have accountability partners that can help pull me out, I do have people that say, hey, let's get back focused. So it is very important to yield. It's very important to pause in light in the good times and in the bad times. It's very important to yield to their pause. So I'm thankful that you are just honing this in drumming this in every day to everybody that you talk about. So thank you so much. Thank you for the shout out again. I love.
[00:14:24] Speaker A: Oh, I love you, too, Dr. Lucky. I am on my way. Honey, we're going to be on my way. Okay, listen, I just want to hone in on a couple of things you said, because one of the things, and I love that you really took the exercise and did something with it and said, in the midst of seasonal depression, in the midst of getting my doctorate, in the midst of dot, dot, dot, here is where I am. And I even type this in the comments, that failure is not fixed. Oh, I love that. In the midst of all of this, here is what is, is discovery and rediscovery is growth. Right. Growth. And sometimes it's tough to see those things, which is why exercises such as this is so powerful. Because sometimes what we recognize when we write it, when we see it, because we post it in our houses, in our minds right here, not necessarily on social, but you can do that, too, if that's what accountability looks and feels like to you. But in the midst of here is what is. Oh, I love that. So good. Is there anybody else who wanted to pop in? Hey, Maria.
[00:15:34] Speaker C: Hey.
[00:15:35] Speaker D: Good morning. Good morning, everyone.
Yes. What I wanted to say is that you can be in the midst of depression and you don't even know that you're in depression.
And I just don't really talk about me. I do not put my problems on my friends or my family because I don't want them to feel like me. I will disappear and then pop up when I feel I'm stronger than to just keep on hopping on the same thing over and over again. I'm glad I have God in my life, because when I'm down, that's who I call on. I do call on him, and I call on him. Seriously, you don't think about stuff or you don't get up out of the bed because things are just so hard every day. It just seems like it's another issue that you have to solve. And I have to tell myself it wasn't anybody's not going to do it. I got to do it. I got to get up and do it. And I'll get up and I'll do it. That's why I say I thank God so, because times I don't want to get up. Depression. I'm going to see the psychiatrist. He says that you are one of those strong people. And I said, but where is the people when I need help?
I don't find it. So what I'm just saying I don't have compassion for a friend that hurts me.
[00:17:12] Speaker A: And Maria, let me say this one. First of all, thank you so much for sharing because you don't need to be sorry about. Uh uh. This is perfect. This is exactly what we're here for. Listen, in the midst of. I love that you're saying this. In the midst of me being aware that I can experience depression, anybody can experience depression without even recognizing. Here is what is, is that I'm aware and I've sort of psychiatrist. I am aware and I am talking to somebody. I'm aware and I'm leveraging the you that I'm talking about right now, utilizing the resources that are around you, utilizing the groups that you are a part of, utilizing your voice right here on this stage to be able to say, guess what? I don't know what anybody else is going through, and I don't even want to put myself in my friend's face because I don't want them to have to take it on. But here's the juiciness of it all, is that your community is there to be able to hold and to hold you and to be able to help you with resources and to be able to give you those things. Because if we don't articulate what it is that we are feeling, then we will find ourselves not even being able to leverage anything inside of the pause because we are spiraling. And sometimes people see it and then they might say something. But sometimes because we are, you see, I said we lolita e right there. Sometimes we are so strong that we come off with the smile and people don't know what's inside until we get ready to say it. And so I thank you for those things. And then I want to encourage you to also look right here inside of the comments because there are people that are giving you so much love inside of the comments, so much reminder of your covering, so much reminder of your tribe and their tribe being amazing and find your community. Because for me on the outside, looking in with the small time that we have just been talking right here, what it does is it tells me that in the midst of all of the circumstances that maria might be going through inside of this moment, that what is, is that I'm powerful enough to leverage my voice inside of right now. I am powerful enough to know that something has got to shift. I'm powerful enough to know that I have a community and have acted. I have taken this a step forward. I have done all of the why the o and the u. I have yielded in the pause. I have felt the power that is right there. I have felt the awareness that is right there. I am owning my yes to say, guess what? I need to take the next step. And then I'm now utilizing my resources to do that. So no need for apologies. Because what you're doing is reminding people of what that while you can really look like and feel like and how you are now going to be surrounded by even more people, I guarantee you, when we leverage the power of our voice, which is why coaching cocktails and conversations is so super juicy, is because we're able to. Then you'll feel the power that's coming right to you. It's pouring onto you. Right? You'll shift the energy because you want to. You'll move all of the things that are in your spaces and places that are not serving you right now, because now you've taken that step. And that is so freeing. And so crystal from LinkedIn said, thanks for sharing your story, Maria. And being vulnerable in this circle right here, you spoke your truth, Maria, and that is power. Absolutely.
She also said that I believe we must also have a positive perspective in our paws. Yes. And sometimes when we can't see the light, like the light is so far away, like maybe there's an inkling, we got to know that there is a light. And I love that you talked about this piece of faith. You got to know that there's something that's bigger than me. There's something that I already know that it's already done. It's just that this momentary interruption in my life right now has got me a little shaken. Okay. It's the awareness. Okay. So thank you so much for sharing your story. So good.
So good. Okay, let's go to the second Maria in pink. And then let's go to Veronica.
[00:21:19] Speaker E: There might be someone around who's holding the flashlight. Just tell them to turn it on.
[00:21:24] Speaker C: And how you can do that is by doing exactly what you just did.
[00:21:28] Speaker E: And I want you to know you're not alone. And sometimes when people have come through the pain of whatever it is they're going through, sometimes they want to share their journey. Because the reason behind their journey. I'm trying to say this the right way. What's going on in my heart right now? I'm going to breathe.
Having gone through what I went through and hearing myself in the person's voice, I can tell you that there is a light. Let me hold the flashlight. Let me help you see it.
[00:22:05] Speaker A: I'm here for you.
[00:22:06] Speaker E: And that's what I want to be for others. Because as I got through my darkness and sometimes I go through some shades of darkness and some shades of light. But that what pulls me through is that I can always call someone and ask for candlelight or flashlight.
[00:22:23] Speaker A: Come on. Flashlight and candlelight. I absolutely love that share right there. That was awesome. Thank you so much for that, Maria. And then let me just say this, that there's someone else who added into the conversation is in the midst of my valley times. It's important to have friends who know me well enough to sense the shift in my energy and will help relight my flame. Absolutely right. Exactly what we're talking about today. And so I want to go ahead and go over to Veronica and then so I can wrap right after. Veronica. Hey, Veronica. Hi.
[00:22:56] Speaker C: Good morning.
[00:22:56] Speaker A: Good morning.
[00:22:57] Speaker C: The pastor said was that when we're experiencing depression, that's actually our spirit telling us that we're shrinking ourselves. It's actually a good sign we start feeling depressed because our spirit telling us that we're shrinking ourselves.
[00:23:09] Speaker A: So one thing I had learned was.
[00:23:10] Speaker C: First of all, get away from low vibration energy people. That's number one. Number two was I had to get around an environment where I feel happy. Thanks to David Stratz teaching me that. Going out in know changing my environment, organizing a closet, organizing something in our know, wearing a perfume, maybe we haven't worn a long know, fixing ourself up. Even if we're just sitting in the house, sometimes we forget that we're sexy. That could be depressed because you just forget what works for you.
[00:23:39] Speaker A: Oh, thank you so much for that. Share, Veronica. Listen, guys, this has been good. This has been amazing. And you know what it started with? It started with the power of a voice. It started with sharing a message, sharing some soul work, and then having reflection right there. That's the power of certified coaching. That's the power of coaching cocktails and conversations. That's the power of lifting somebody up. That's the power of bringing out your skills so that then you can allow others to be able to feel that little tingling inside and then grab courage. Right? Sometimes we talk about your toolkit, and your toolkit sometimes has courage in it. It might be deep down inside, but today, Maria, as an example, pulled that out of her toolkit and was able to really leverage that and then talk to us. And guess what that sparked right there. Her getting that courage and saying, in the midst of here is what is. Guess what that did. It even elevated others to be able to say, well, guess what? Let me pour into you inside of this moment, because that's what I hear is needed right now. Let me share that I have been in the midst of. And here is what is. Let me remind you of who it is that you are. And that is the power of you. I want to leave that with you all again today. In the midst of dot, dot, dot. Here is what is in the midst of you. Fill in a blank. Here is what is. I want you to remember the outlook. I want you to remember the mindset. I want you to remember the awareness. I want you to remember the feeling. I want you to remember your future you. I want you to remember the you. It is yielding to the power that is in your paw, even in the midst of it, is owning the places and spaces that you've been. It is owning your yes. That one right there. I will always say that owning your yes and respecting your no so much so that you can go to my website and grab the t shirt and the sweatshirt. That's how powerful that is. Owning your yes and respecting your no. Remind yourself of it. Wear it. Remind other people of it. Owning your yes and respecting your no is so super important. And then that you is utilizing the resources that are around you in order to help you grow. In order to help you. Here is what is. Okay, I'm so excited to be able to share that with you all today. Stay connected you guys.
[00:25:55] Speaker B: We have concluded yet another episode of coaching, cocktails and conversations, the podcast with Lolita E. Walker connect with
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