How to Plant Seeds While Growing In the Weeds (with Lolita E Walker)

Episode 93 January 31, 2024 00:19:27
How to Plant Seeds While Growing In the Weeds (with Lolita E Walker)
Coaching, Cocktails, & Conversations
How to Plant Seeds While Growing In the Weeds (with Lolita E Walker)

Jan 31 2024 | 00:19:27

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Show Notes

It's episode 93 and this title sounds like an oxymoron, right?  This episode is all about how to plant seeds while still growing in the weeds.  I have been in the weeds a time or two myself and it is not always the easiest place to get out of.  This episode will leave you with a few strategies to not only plant seeds but also get out of those weeds!

 

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Episode Transcript

[00:00:00] Speaker A: How do we plant seeds while growing in the weeds? Welcome to coaching cocktails and conversations with Lolita E. Walker, the podcast that coaches you up while meeting you exactly where you are, grab your water, tea or something stronger and allow this podcast to help you feel the power in your cause. Come on in and join the conversation. Let's go. For all of you all, I do know, hello. For all of you all, I don't have the privilege of knowing. I am Lolita E. Walker. I am a certified life leadership and executive coach. I am an author. I'm a mommy. I am a full time phd student. You name it, I'm probably doing it. I'm probably doing it. I mean, it's very much like a lot of the people who are listening in today. So I want to say hey to my Facebook community, coaching, cocktails and conversations, to breakfast with champions, of course, to clubhouse, to LinkedIn and to YouTube. So wherever it is that you are, feel free to drop something in the chat or lean in, come off mic, whatever it is you want to do in this power half an hour to really lean into what I'm going to talk about today, which is how to plant seeds while growing in the weeds. I'm going to say that again. How do we plant seeds while growing in the weeds? Now, I got a couple of strategies I'm going to leave you with today, but let me just start with this piece right here, you guys. I am in Los Angeles. So it is what? It's 732 Eastern, but it is 04:32 a.m. Pacific time. And I tell you, it's a little bit differently. It hits a little bit differently when you're up at the crack of dawn, but we are ready to plant these seeds and hey, good morning, Yvette Searson. We've all been among the weeds and thistles while trying to be great. Yes. Let's lean into this topic right now. What does it mean when you're in the know, the first thing I was talking about this morning is acknowledging that you are in the weeds of whatever situation, whether it's work, is life, is home, acknowledging that I'm standing right here in this right now. Sometimes we're so far in the weeds and so we need to acknowledge that, yeah, we're here. Yep. This is where I'm standing. This is where I'm standing sometimes. I love that Yvette Searson said, sometimes you got to go through weeds and thistles. Sometimes when you're growing and you're elevating and you're getting to that next point in life, sometimes the obstacles are so big that's mounting around you, and it feels like you're walking in this field barefoot with just thistles coming up everywhere. But what if on the other side of that thing was a deeper understanding? What if on the other side of that thing that I met somebody so freaking amazing on a virtual app or inside of my coaching cocktails and conversations? And that in itself is what is now here to elevate me so that I can now plant seeds while I'm growing weeds. Like, while I'm growing in these weeds, I want people to know that sometimes in the midst of the weeds, we are growing. And when we can already acknowledge that thing right there, then we're planting seeds with our words, with our energies, with our minds, with our spirit. I plant a seed right now. There's a little bit of lolita that will be left with you right here today. I saw Pam Vishoni on this morning. There's a lot of Pam that has been peppered inside of me and planted seeds. And this here is what helps us to elevate our thinking. So this first strategy that I want to give to you today is acknowledge that, yep, I'm here in the weeds. And sometimes it's going to hurt, sometimes it's not the journey that I absolutely want, and I feel like I deserve. I love that Dr. Tati on LinkedIn, she said, good morning. Enjoy your journey towards that phd. I tell you, sometimes that feels like the weeds, sometimes that feels like the thistle. It's the unknown. It's navigating in those places and spaces where sometimes the brush feels like it's bigger than even where my head is. And so one of the strategies today, when I get to the end, it's about nourishing your garden, cultivating this garden, and nourishing it so that you can thrive. It's also about your community and who you pull into your community. And acknowledging that you're in a weed sometimes means like, hey, guess what? My hand is up. Because now I'm confident enough to say, hey, I need help. I know some of you all ain't out here asking for help. You got to do it. You got to do it. You got to recognize that I'm not a solo machine. And so, therefore, what I can do is while I am inside of these weeds and I'm navigating inside of these weeds, that I know that I can plant seeds so that not only others can grow from what it is I'm leaving right here. And they don't have to go through the same struggle as me, but also I'm grabbing things that other people have planted. How good is that? Yvette Searson said. And we appreciate all the seeds of greatness that you drop into us. Oh, thank you so much. Acknowledge that you are in the weeds, whatever the situation is. So the first is acknowledging that we are here. Hi, my name is Lolita E. Walker and I'm standing in the weeds where it is right now. It's not always comfortable, but I'm acknowledging that I'm right here. And then, two, while I'm here, strategy number two is really all about listening intently and without judgment, and sometimes that's hard to do. So somebody might say, well, lolita, how does this apply to my work? How does this apply to what I'm going through right now? How does this apply to my life? How does this apply to how I'm at home? Well, I want you to think about it. Think about the fact that when you navigate this thing called life, you will find yourself in the weeds. And if you're not there now, then you've been there. And guess what? I hate to be the one to tell you, but you will get there. Again. Take these strategies and you say, okay, first let me acknowledge where it is that I am. And two, let me listen intently, and this time let me do it in a way that's without judgment. Because one, while I'm listening and I'm inside of those weeds, it might not agree with what everybody's saying in there. I might not agree with how everybody's navigating, but I might be able to pick something up along the way. I might be able to leverage technology. I might be able to leverage what this person said to me. I might be able to leverage this other opinion. I might be able to leverage what it is that I've done in the past. I might be able to leverage my mistakes and where I went wrong. I might be able to leverage the friendships and the relationships that I have in order to grow differently. And this time I'm going to listen intently and without judgment because my goal is to grow. But how do I grow when I don't embrace the things that come around me and not all of them are going to look and feel like I do inside of this moment last night, which only was a couple hours ago here, so last night I was at a. If you've been in LA before, it's called world stage. Somebody took me to world stage. It's the first time that I've been there but it was this open poetry, and it was a book signing. This poet was there, and it was all these other poets, and it was some beautiful music, and somebody was playing a saxophone. And one of the poems was just talking about life and just talking about the hardships in it. And then another poem was talking about physics and relating physics into your mental space. And it just was so good because it was this place of expansion. So while I might be in the weeds inside of my own life, what that did is I listened intently, was be able to open me up because I came back wanting to write. I came back inspired and wanting to write. I didn't necessarily agree with everything that they were saying, but damn, it was inside of me. Like, oh, it peppered me in a way that, guess what? My creativity was opened up differently. So the beauty about that is that while I was in that space, I was able to now get reenergized in order to be my most poetic self. I was able to get energized. Come on. God. Right before my book signing, where I'm going to be reading poetry, right before I'm going to be talking about my most creative self and how I came into this space. So when you listen intently and you're being present, that's what I really should call it, being present inside of the moment, then you will be so surprised at how you grow inside of the weeds that you're in. I love this. Okay, so Stacey said, planting seeds while growing the weeds. Come on. Claiming this Dr. Lolita E. Walker. I got to do it, too. I appreciate all of you, all who do that all of the time, because it helps me to continue to keep on going. And I love that. Tosh queen said, can we talk poems? Yes. Tosh queen, we're taking 22 of the books that are inside of can we talk? My second book. Pulling them out and making them into illustrated books. So that's what we got, dear. I'm saying we, but it's just me, myself and I. And then I have 217 year old illustrators who've done dear black girl, can we talk? And dear anxiousness, can we talk? When I talk about this here, this is a prime example. When I am inside of my own weeds of life, that's when I'm my most creative self. I don't know about you all, but it's in those moments of listening intently, of pausing, of being without judgment. My son was anxious. I could see at the time, I think he was only like nine at the time. He's eleven now. I just saw that this world, this society, this fast paced thing is just so different than when we grew up. Right? I just saw how anxious he was to even go to school, judgment. How much there was. And I wrote this poem, dear anxiousness. And I would read it to him so that he was reminded, like, I see this urgency that is flowing through your veins. But I want you to know that, hey, it's okay to breathe and take a step back. It's okay to feel and listen and do all of the things while you're in your weeds. But I want you to know that I'm here and I'm listening to you. So, dear anxiousness, can we talk? That's how that came about. Dear black girl, can we talk? It's in these moments when you pause. It's in these moments when you realize that I'm planting these seeds inside of people and I'm grabbing the seeds that others have left for me. Dear black girl, can we talk? Kane? Because my 89 year old grandma at the time, who's now 92, started saying things like, I'm such a burden. Oh, I'm stupid. Like what? Do you understand the history that we stand on? Because you are the amazingness that you are, and you were born in 1931. And, oh, what you've been through, I want you to know. Dear black girl, you are amazing. Let me remind you that I am a reflection of you, and you are a reflection of me. It's in those moments that I want us to remember that we are planting seeds while we're growing in our weeds. And that can come if you're two years old or 102 years old. So, for everybody here, however you frame this thing today, I want you to know that inside of these moments, inside of this time, you are growing so good. So today we're talking about how to plant seeds while growing in the weeds. We talked about acknowledging that you are in the weeds. Like, hey, I'm here. I'm in the weeds. The two is listening intently and without judgment. Number three is reframing. Perspective makes sense, right? Instead of seeing these weeds as these insurmountable obstacles, what if we view them as learning and improvement opportunities? What if we reframe it so that we're solutions focused and not buried inside of all these insurmountable obstacles that are coming our way? What if we recognize that on the other side of this, I'm still standing right here because I am greatness. What if we said our name and knew what it meant? What if we said our name and set it with power, and then elevated a little bit. What if we closed our eyes and reminded that our minds can continue to be shifted in ways that we don't even recognize yet? This world is moving so much. What if we embraced all of the things that were here, but at the end of the day, remind me that, listen, nobody puts baby in a box. Oh, my gosh, I love that Ramon. Ray says, let's go. Love how you shine and show up. Thank you, Ramon. Rabone. Rabone. I love it when you have a community that continues to challenge your thinking in so many different ways. Then you show up because you're always growing and your wheels inside of your brain are always moving and doing all of the things. And the beauty is that we can reframe perspective. When somebody wants to bring the energy to us that doesn't really align with where it is and how it is that we are, then you reframe the beauty of the coaching that they might be trying to give and take a nugget or just leave all of it right there. Because if it doesn't hit my spirit right, if it's not going to feed me inside of my garden, then I don't need any extra weeds. I'm already in them. I don't need no extra thistles. If you're not coming in order to help me to elevate, in order to help me to shift a little bit differently, then guess what? I'm not for you inside of this moment. And that's okay, too. You got to know that's okay, too. Water ourselves with the power of mindset. Water our brain, water our spirits, water all of this, our conversations with the power of a positive mindset, a growth mindset. We are shifting our realities with our thoughts. And if I'm going to shift to action based on what it is I'm thinking, then I want to be thinking amongst a group of thought leaders who might challenge me differently. So that when I get off of here, I can be like, let me think about that, because somebody says something and I had never thought about that before. When I'm reading these articles, you guys, and I got to read a lot of articles. Oh, my gosh. So when I read these articles, sometimes I'm like, oh, man, I never thought about that. Like that. So good. So next, we want to cultivate a growth mindset. I kind of just talked about that. But then this one here is about tending to your garden and your community. All of these strategies are really to remind you that you are greatness and wherever it is that you're standing right there. You don't have to think of your weeds as insurmountable obstacles, wherever it is that you are. What if you chose to shift that mindset in the midst of somebody else's weeds? I was able to plant seeds because they chose to come to my women's weekend renewal retreat just from hearing my voice, just from me pouring into them on an ongoing basis. The continuity of cleaning out your weeds and helping other people to do so is amazing because it powers you as it powers them. My women's weekend renewal retreat is no joke. It's amazing. It pours into you. But last September, I had a number of folks that just came from an app and said, hey, I want to meet you in person and have you do the things that you do for me in person for these four days. How powerful is that? While you're in your weeds, you are planting seeds while somebody else is in their weeds. Guess what? Have you even realized that you're in there with them sometimes, helping them navigate and push and do all of the things? So say thank you, you guys. If somebody's been in the weeds with you, say, thank you for being here with me, for rocking with me while I had all of these tough times. But they're not insurmountable issues anymore. Because I reframed my perspective, I realized that I was standing right here. I listened intently and without judgment because you were right there pushing me. I reframed my perspective. I cultivated a growth mindset. And then, guess what? I tended my garden, and now I'm helping somebody else to tend theirs. What are you doing in your weeds? Right? I get so pumped when I'm on here. So we only have a couple of more minutes, you guys, you are amazing. [00:15:28] Speaker B: It's like, oh, this is what I need in the morning especially. I'm interested. If you could also just send me a link to your books, that would be great. Loved. When you said the title of your. [00:15:39] Speaker A: Book, can we talk that? [00:15:40] Speaker B: Can we talk about the one about the black girl, your grandma? I'm like, that's brilliant. That's brilliant. Because, of course, what was I thinking? It was inspiration for a young person, right? [00:15:53] Speaker A: Yes. [00:15:54] Speaker B: That is so cool. Your message just is meant for many. And I would be excited to just. Let's have a conversation offline. [00:16:02] Speaker A: Oh, Bridget, thank you so much. See what I'm talking about, you guys? Sometimes planting seeds is helping other people to grow in their weeds or helping me to grow in my own weeds. Perfect example. Bridget, you came in right at the right moment. I have done all of the screenshots in order to make sure I can connect with you. One. Thank you so much. Dear black girl, can we talk? As I talked about that, I wrote it for my 89 year old grandma at the time. She's 91. She was able to hold that book in her hand. And my second book, she had it because it's thick. It's 44 letters and poems. But in this newest one, especially for Dear black girl, can we talk? It was illustrated by my 17 year old niece, so she got to hold a book that was written by her granddaughter and illustrated by her great granddaughter and with hopes. To your point, the reason I'm saying this is because to your point, it can cross generations like this book can talk to so many ages is because I want to get it in middle schools. Because our middle school girls, even younger and older than that, they need this. They need a reminder because the news doesn't always show them. And so now when I can get it illustrated to my words and my poetry, it comes at a different angle to meet people where they are inside of their weeds. So I love that you said that. I believe that everything is divine timing. I appreciate it and I absolutely will be in touch. [00:17:26] Speaker B: I'm not crying, you're crying. [00:17:28] Speaker A: I know. It's so good. Can't even make it up. I tell you. I love it. Thank you so much. I appreciate you. Thank you. Thank you. There's a Facebook user who said, love your message, lowly to always a blessed to hear you. Thank you so much. And yeah, if you're not part of my Facebook community, it's coaching. Cocktails and conversations. Come on into the party. We love it over there. Today we talked about how to plant seeds while you're growing in the midst of your weeds. And I think that that's so important. So hopefully you all took a couple of nuggets away today, because I sure did. Yay. [00:18:02] Speaker C: We have concluded yet another episode of coaching, cocktails and conversations, the podcast with Lolita E. Walker. Connect with [email protected] for speaking, coaching and my books. The intersection of you and change. And can we talk letters and poems to reclaim a bolder you? Listen. Have you already grabbed your Cc and C garb? Yes, we are coming with tumblers, stimulus glasses, a journal, a hoodie, and don't forget the t shirt. We are leaning all the way in. We also know that coaching, cocktails and conversations is a movement. Not only is it paraphernalia, not only is it this powerful podcast that you have right here in this right now. [00:18:52] Speaker A: But it is a zoomcast. [00:18:53] Speaker C: It is a coaching community. [00:18:55] Speaker A: It is a Facebook group. [00:18:57] Speaker C: It is a clubhouse group. Go ahead and lean into lolitawalker.com to see all things coaching, cocktails and conversations. And next time bring a friend. Invite them to like, to share and to give that five star review. Cheers. I cannot wait to see you back around my kitchen table for coaching, cocktails and conversations. The podcast with Lolita E. Walker.

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