Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Hey, hey, hey. And welcome back to Coaching Cocktails and Conversations with Lolita E. Walker. Can you believe we are already at our final episode, y', all, of our five part series. What started off as one has expanded to five, and it's been all about the rebrand within. Now, if you've been on this journey with me, then you already know it's been transformative. If you haven't quite listened to all of them, go ahead back and make sure you listen to all four previous episode. I am ready. Are you? Let's get into it. Today we are talking about rebranding your legacy, the ripple effect of who you are becoming. I can't wait. It's going to be juicy, y'. All. Welcome to Coaching Cocktails and Conversations with Lolita E. Walker, the podcast that coaches you up while meeting you exactly where you are.
[00:00:50] Grab your water, tea, or something stronger and allow this podcast to help you feel the power in your paws.
[00:00:59] Come on in and join the conversation. Let's go.
[00:01:06] All right. Well, yes, yes, and yes. I hope you have your coaching cocktails and conversations journal with you. I know I have mine right here with me because as I always say, what is it? I do the work. Right. Right with you. All right, let's do a recap for those of you all who might not have heard all the previous episodes. So in part one, this is a rebranding series. So in part one, we talked project management principles, and I told you that you are the project. I am the project.
[00:01:37] And we walked through how to initiate your rebrand with intention. We talked about plans for who you are becoming, and we even talked about how to measure how you're really showing up, how to go back, how to take a look at it, and how to readjust. Okay? Then in part two, we stepped it up a notch and talked about rebranding within relationships. Now, in that episode, if you remember, Mm, mm, mm. We used the metaphor of a suitcase. Okay. And we use the metaphor of a suitcase to unpack our emotional baggage. We talked about checking your pockets and seeing what's in there for hours. Outdated patterns and seeing if anything is pulled out, you know, before you put things in a wash or before you go to repack them. Because we wanted to be intentional on rebranding with our relationships. We also talked about then repacking with intention. We talked about what was really, really important, which was it's not all about removing people, but refining what support looks like for us. So I'm always talking about this change train.
[00:02:41] If you've been on A journey with me then, you know, from years and years and years ago, I've been talking about this change train and how sometimes you gotta always remember that I'm the conductor aboard this train. And as you're driving this train, it's yours. It's beautiful. It is elegant.
[00:02:59] It is this amazing train for mine, I have Lolita and script written around the sides of it. Okay, it looks good. And we can choose who's on our train, which we can choose how many seats we have on our train. We can choose how luxurious it is. We can choose how we want, in this case, our relationships to flow. But then sometimes people self select to get off the train. It doesn't always feel good. But what do we know? We know that as we talk about boundaries, as we talk about what we really want, as we talk about happiness, as we talk about rebranding and remembering who it is that we are at this table, then it becomes really, really important that we get clear on that thing. And oftentimes, whether it's platonic or it's your partner, it could be a whole lot of things. Y', all, you got to go back and listen to that episode. It was good. So then in part three, I invited my sister, friend, and mindset coach, Dr. Lisa. Yes, everybody loves Dr. Lisa. And she joined me for the notion of Reba rebanding.
[00:03:59] I swear, this age, y', all, sometimes I just can't get it together. And talking. I'm talking so quickly, so let me slow down just a bit. But we talked about rebranding your mindset. She's powerful, right? Oh, my gosh. I know. So we cleaned out our mental closets. It was all about the metaphor of having this mental closet, how you're going to toss out beliefs that never, ever fit. Right? We're still holding onto them inside of our closet. We're saying next year, we're going to be able to fit it.
[00:04:27] And stepped into a bold new beginning. We want to be mentally dressed for our next level. Remember, this entire series was about rebranding.
[00:04:38] And then in part four, I sat down with the phenomenal Radiah Rhodes, who is the founder of Evoke, and we talked about rebranding our environments. Remember, we looked in the mirror. It was all about the mirror. It was all about your room. And we looked in the mirror and then at the room that really was around us. Think about it. We asked ourselves, does this space?
[00:05:00] Does our space still reflect the rise that I'm stepping into?
[00:05:05] So as we continue to evolve over time, it evoked this newness within us, it evoked this renewed sense of power and confidence and expectation and boldness, like, yes, I am that girl.
[00:05:19] Yes, I am that power man. Yes, this is what I want. And this is how I'm going to be rebranding. I'm talking about standing up in affirmation, standing up shoulders, and remembering that what you bring to the table. Right? So now here we are, part five, and this is the final piece. If you didn't listen to any of those other ones, please make sure you go back. And quite frankly, sometimes it's not for you. Sometimes you're listening to it and you're like, oh, my gosh, my homegirl for real could really use this. So go ahead and share it. Okay.
[00:05:51] We don't want to be the gatekeepers. Nope. All right, so we're talking about this episode, rebranding your legacy, the ripple effect of who you're becoming.
[00:06:00] And this one is just you and me out here. Okay? So go ahead, grab your journal, pour your sip. Mine today that we're cheersing to is something that I'm going to call our legacy Lemon drop. And let's talk about the impact that it is for you.
[00:06:20] So we're going to have, again, five parts for all of our series. I've broken them down into five parts. And this part one is really about what is legacy really? What does legacy truly mean to you?
[00:06:33] Now, sometimes we could think about legacy as what we leave behind, and I talk about that all the time. What is the legacy you want to leave? What are the footprints you want to leave? In the saying, when someone is speaking of you at your homegoing ceremony, what do you want them to be saying? And are you living that thing right now?
[00:06:54] But today, I want you to shift that thinking just a little bit. It's not just in this instance, the legacy isn't just what's left after you're gone, but it's about what you're building in your right now for your legacy. Think of legacy in this way, for this time that we're together today. Legacy is the way you walk into the room. Okay. What if legacy was the power, the purpose of you walking in that room? It's about the way people feel when you speak. It's about how you're receiving me right now. It's about how others receive you when you speak. It's about the standard that you uphold when you walk into a room, even when no one is watching.
[00:07:36] And it's not always going to feel like this power inside of you. But for Today?
[00:07:41] What is the legacy that you are building in your right now? So I want you to ask yourself this question, is what do I want to be known for while I am still here? Not when I'm gone. While I'm still here, my neighbor, friend, my sister, girl, the. The man that's sitting at the front of the table over there, the power woman that just started her business. What am I looking for them to say about me? And what do I want to be known for while I am still here in this place, in this space? This is legacy in place. Because the truth is your legacy is alive.
[00:08:15] It's alive, it's breathing. And every decision that you make, it either reinforces it or it's going to rewrite it. It's your legacy.
[00:08:26] So this part one is really about your legacy, your living legacy, you living in place. And what is it that I want to be known for while I am still right here, walking this earth in this, right now? What is that thing?
[00:08:42] If my legacy is alive, if my legacy is breathing right now, if my legacy is in every decision that I make, and it either is gonna reinforce the power that it is when I walk into a room as Lolita E. Walker or insert your name, or is it gonna rewrite the legacy in ways that I'm not too sure I wanna be remembered for in my right now?
[00:09:06] How can we shift that? How are we going to rebrand that? This is about what legacy is really. And in this instance, we're talking about your living legacy. So take a minute, close your eyes, unless you're driving, think about it.
[00:09:22] If a legacy is living, what do I want to be known for right now? Press pause if you need to, but I'm going to go ahead and skedaddle onto part two, Part two of this living in your legacy. This ripple effect is about the ripple effect.
[00:09:39] So one of the things I want you to do is I want you to breathe and I want you to imagine yourself as a stone that's being dropped in the water.
[00:09:48] Not necessarily thrown, but just dropped in the water.
[00:09:52] When you drop it in the water, the waves, if you really think about it, the waves you create, they don't just stay close to you. There's a ripple effect that goes downward. It's impact.
[00:10:05] They move, they stretch these waves, right? Just think about it. When you drop a stone into the water, it's not just right there. There is this ripple effect. So the way you show up, somebody's watching you, the boundaries that you set, someone learned how to protect their peace.
[00:10:28] Now it's another whole story on if you are keeping those boundaries and if you're not maintaining those boundaries, Were they boundaries at all? Are they really important to you? But the boundaries you set are really to protect your peace. So go ahead back and determine, are these boundaries realistic? Can I stand on them? Why are they really important to me?
[00:10:49] Are they really important to me? How does it make me feel if these boundaries are crossed?
[00:10:55] Right.
[00:10:56] Makes sense. And again, I'm doing that work now. I did that work before we. Before we got started on this episode right here. And on my sheet, I'll tell you what my sheet of paper looks like. There's this box, and inside of it, I wrote what it is I want.
[00:11:10] Okay? What it is I want. And outside of the box, our four areas, obviously, top, bottom, left, and right. And I had boundaries. And around there I wrote, what boundaries won't I allow to be crossed based on what it is I want, how I want to feel, what I want, what the legacy is that I want right now, whether it is a relationship, whether it is my next job, whether it is the community service I have, whether it is showing up in my sorority, whether it is showing up as my mom or an advocate for the community, whatever that thing is, or what boundaries am I not willing to have crossed so that I could feel, act, and live the legacy that I want while I'm living in this thing right now?
[00:11:53] So while you don't have to take probably the seven different categories that I just mentioned, right? Then you can have boxes for each one of those.
[00:12:00] And when I work with my clients, I work with them, and we just compartmentalize. We take it just one step at a time so that now we can really see these things and determine are these boundaries you can keep? And let's take a look at these boundaries, because while I am a living legacy right now, if they do get crossed, then how does it compromise me?
[00:12:22] If it doesn't compromise you, then maybe it's not a boundary. I'm just saying room for thought, okay? No judgment here.
[00:12:29] It even can be the dream that you're pursuing someone was given permission to believe. Again, because it's your dream, right? It's your dream that is happening right now. These are about the ripple effects. These are about the impact that's being made. These are about your living legacy, and these are about the things that's so important to you. So here's my question to you today.
[00:12:56] What ripple have I already started without even realizing it?
[00:13:03] Oh, no judgment here. I'm asking myself the Same thing. What ripple have I already started without even realizing it?
[00:13:14] Let's normalize, not minimizing our impact just because it's quiet.
[00:13:19] Sometimes you can get in a really quiet space. I know. I've been there.
[00:13:24] Sometimes you can get in a really quiet space, and then you start minimizing your impact.
[00:13:28] What? You start minimizing the impact you've had on others.
[00:13:33] My best friend Faye, I gotta mention to her that I mentioned her on this episode, but the other day in the mail, went to the mailbox. Oh, my gosh. I only go to my mailbox every couple weeks, y'. All. If you send me anything, please let me know in advance because I do not check my mailbox regularly.
[00:13:48] Sometimes it's just a disappointment looking in there, but I'm going out of town, so I wanted to make sure I cleared out the mailbox so it didn't overflow. Anywho, as I digress, I went in there and I got something in the mail from her. I'm like, huh? What is this?
[00:14:04] So I open it up, and she has in there this amazing card. It's really small, and it talks about, you inspire me on one side, and then on the other side, it's this handwritten note. And it was so amazing. It's like, you are a great friend. Your impact. I'm so proud of the impact that you're making inside of the world. And I say all of that because so sometimes in those very quiet moments, you can start not believing or minimizing the impact that you're making because something has gotten in your head and shaken you up and you've forgotten all this amazingness that you came to the table with. This is talking about not the stone that's being dropped and nothing happened to it. You're not on a shore. This is you walking in a little bit and dropping that thing deep in the water and seeing it really have that ripple effect. Your impact is not just right now. Your impact is being felt, and it's being. You might not even know the impact that you have for years.
[00:15:05] For years. And you might not even understand the impact that you had before you left this earth on some people. Because some people wait until they're at your homegoing ceremony to talk about the power that you had inside of their lives. So this is a reminder that as you are your living legacy, somebody else is living in their legacy. So let them know how they impact you. Let them know how they're showing up, because it's in those quiet moments that they might have forgotten. How powerful, how amazing, how beautiful, how intellectual, how creative that they have been and continue to be, how impactful, how they've changed somebody's life, whatever that thing is, let your voice be heard. And I think it's super amazing. So as you tell them, this creates the ripple effect, and I want you to remember that you are creating, have created, and will continue to create the ripple effect.
[00:16:05] Make sense? Hands down? Absolutely. I was talking to somebody the other day who listened to the episode on the suitcase, the Suitcase, about the relationships. And they were saying that they sat and they listened to it about three times, and in it for the first time, that they just were crying.
[00:16:25] And I said, I get it. Because sometimes unpacking, going through the pockets, repacking that stuff is emotional.
[00:16:33] It's emotional because relationships matter.
[00:16:38] So don't be hard on yourself. Don't be hard on yourself at all. Just get clear.
[00:16:43] That's it. And here go a cheers to you. Here's a cheers to you and gifting yourself grace. Okay. Cheers for the greatness of who it is that you are.
[00:16:50] All right, so part two was really all about the ripple effect and recognizing that you have a ripple that's already started. What if you're not realizing it? What is your ripple today? Oh, my gosh. So good. I get so excited about this. So then part three. You ready?
[00:17:06] Part three is about designing your living legacy.
[00:17:13] So if you're gonna rebrand yourself in this legacy, it has to be defined.
[00:17:19] It's not going to be a default.
[00:17:21] It has to be defined. It has to be designed, and it's not going to be defaulted to what you used to be. Why? Because we're rebranding we all the way at part five right now. Right. We're all the way in a series of the fifth part of the series, though. We're in part three of this living legacy right here. So I want you to think about a couple things. You know, I love the power of three. So I'm going to ask you three questions that you can really think about really quickly or you can think about and come back to. Don't forget, pressing pause is a winner, winner, chicken dinner on here. So I want you to think about one, what values guide you?
[00:17:57] What values guide you?
[00:18:00] Oh, I have an episode. It's probably like maybe seasons one or two when I talk about values and what your values are.
[00:18:14] This here is about what values actually guide who it is that you are in this rebranding of who it is that you are.
[00:18:23] The second one is what behaviors then reinforce Those values.
[00:18:30] Okay, so first it is, what values are God in my life right now? What values are important to me? What values do I stand upon?
[00:18:39] And then what behaviors then reinforce those values?
[00:18:45] You ready for that third one? That third one is what habits or systems ensure that your legacy is lived, not just spoken. Hmm.
[00:19:00] First, you want to get clear on your values.
[00:19:03] Then you want to understand what behaviors reinforce those values.
[00:19:07] And then you want to think about what habits are going to ensure that this is my living legacy. It's not just what I'm talking about. It's what I'm being about, hands down. And absolutely. So maybe it's how you lead your team that you're thinking about. Maybe it's how you pour into your scholars at home or in your community.
[00:19:25] Maybe it's the book that you still haven't written yet. I'm talking to you. Yep, that one right there. But you know that you must write that book. One for you, for self healing, but also to get it out in the world, because people need to hear your voice.
[00:19:39] Maybe it's the way you model self respect in your daily decisions.
[00:19:46] I know sometimes I've looked at myself and I had to say, self, honey, what is happening right here? I need you to shake it up and get it together. Because what you're modeling is not the respect of self. What you're modeling are not the values that you said that you wanted in your living legacy. What you're modeling right now is anti what it is that you're saying, anti what it is that you know and who it is that you know you are. We are rebranding, so there'll be ups and downs and ripples and tides and all of the things, but today it's about designing this living legacy.
[00:20:19] So if someone studied your life right now, in this moment, what would they say that you stood for right now in this moment?
[00:20:29] I'm going to ask you again.
[00:20:31] If somebody was studying your life right now, in this moment right here, what would they say that you stood for?
[00:20:42] And then ask yourself, is it accurate, or is it time that you realign things? Okay.
[00:20:47] Is it time that you realign things, or is it accurate? Because you might be marching to your 1, 2, and 3 beat. And I'm all here for it, for sure.
[00:20:55] All right, so we've gone through parts one, parts two, parts three, and now we're knocking on part four. Okay, this is about your legacy statement.
[00:21:03] Your legacy statement.
[00:21:06] Now, I'm big on a statement. If you've been to my women's weekend renewal Retreats. You know, I have you standing up and you are stating things. You are outright declaring them. You are affirming them, you are letting everybody know because it's all about accountability. We're doing some things that this here is your charge, my friend.
[00:21:25] Write your living legacy statement. Not for your obituary, for your right now. Okay? So it should start with, here's a prompt for you. I'm all about prompts. I am the ripple that what I am the ripple that what?
[00:21:43] I am the ripple that reminds others that they are worthy of their joy.
[00:21:48] I am the ripple that creates space for healing and boldness.
[00:21:54] I am the ripple that teaches power, women, through their presence, not necessarily performance.
[00:22:00] I am the ripple that when I show up in a room, that they're going to know Lolita E. Walker is there.
[00:22:07] You are the ripple that what you are the ripple that impacts because of what you are, the ripple that what this is who you are becoming. And it might not even be where you are right now, but project inside of this moment on where it is you are going, who it is you are becoming. This is about rebranding.
[00:22:25] I am the ripple that has 10 books of power.
[00:22:32] Now I only have five, and they all powerful if you ask me. Okay. But maybe there's five more that's inside of it. I'm going to declare it right now.
[00:22:41] You are the ripple that what I am the ripple that reminds others that they can rise, too.
[00:22:50] Shoot. I'm the ripple that reminds me that I can rise today, that I will, and I shall, and I can and I will, Period.
[00:22:57] Make sense?
[00:22:58] Absolutely.
[00:23:00] So, you know, I like to keep this to a power hour, you all, and we are almost there. But I want you to think about this, and you might have to go back and you might have to listen again because these prompts that I'm giving you right now, listen, this is a whole session that you're not being. That you're not paying me for, okay? But I'm excited to be able to talk it out with you because I want you to grow your confidence in your rebrand, because there's times where you're going to have to come back to this and you're going to have to think about, hmm, this rebranding, this legacy thing that I'm living right now, this legacy thing that I'm living right now inside of this place, in this space, is it where I want to be?
[00:23:33] Is it reflective of who it is I'm becoming?
[00:23:35] If it's not, then I got a little bit of work to do. And if it is. Hello. Cheers. Hello. Here's a Cheers to you. Yes. And send it to somebody else who absolutely needs it, too. So as we come to a close, we have our five parts. We have our powerful transformation. I'm so excited. I'm so glad you are here with me for these five series parts. Oh, my gosh. The rebrand within. Remember, this series was all about reclaiming your voice. Remember, it's all about your space.
[00:24:07] It's about your energy.
[00:24:09] So we're gonna recap the journey that we went on together. It's about reminding yourself that you are absolutely allowed to evolve out loud, with intention and without apology. Oh, my gosh. Who was I talking to the other day?
[00:24:26] Uh, I don't know who I was talking to the other day. And I was on the phone, and I had this community meeting that I was supposed to do, and I just was feeling so.
[00:24:37] Just dragging right. I just was dragging just a little bit. That morning. I'd had a long night. I just had a lot on my mind. I needed to do some journaling. I hadn't really been in a great mind space to be able to talk to everybody. And she said to me, I give you permission to cancel that. Seriously, I think I give you permission to do that. So I'm laughing at that because sometimes it takes somebody on the other line to say, girl, I give you permission to go ahead and let that one go. Go ahead and let that one go. I'll give you permission right now because what's the worst thing that can happen?
[00:25:10] What's the worst thing that can happen? I'm still me.
[00:25:14] What's the worst thing that can happen? I'm still gonna get the information out. What's the worst thing that can happen? Well, the worst thing that can happen is I don't take care of myself and re energize myself, because why I'm rebranding the power of who it is that I am.
[00:25:27] You are rebranding the power of who it is that you are?
[00:25:32] Yes, absolutely.
[00:25:34] So in recapping a journey we had rebranding yourself. That was part one, you are the project, so build accordingly.
[00:25:43] For part two, it was about rebuilding relationships.
[00:25:47] Pack lightly, y'. All. Love deeply and choose alignment.
[00:25:53] Be communicative.
[00:25:56] For three, it was about rebranding your mindset. Toss what doesn't fit anymore and wear your worth all over your body. Okay. It's beautiful. It fits all the curves. It fits exactly how you need it to be in this moment in time.
[00:26:13] Part four was about rebranding Your environment. That was a good one. Let your space reflect your rise. We are rising. Therefore, our space needs to be reflective of that thing right there. And then, of course, what we're talking about right now, rebranding your legacy. You are the ripple. So I want you to keep becoming, as Michelle Obama said herself, becoming.
[00:26:37] That is who you are. That is what is happening. That is what you're doing.
[00:26:42] And it's okay to rebrand.
[00:26:44] It's okay to rebrand. Your name remains the same and your spirit remains the same all the way on the inside. But you're going to adjust, you're going to readjust, you're going to call out, you're going to be accountable, you're going to do all the things. So I want to just say thank you for walking this thing with me, for listening, for reflecting, and most importantly, for doing the work. Okay? That's the real thing.
[00:27:05] If this series spoke to you and your soul around coaching, cocktails and conversations, I invite you, of course, to share it with somebody who's also evolving.
[00:27:14] Leave a review.
[00:27:16] To help others find this space, you could leave a review on Apple. It is Bit Lee B I T L Y.
[00:27:25] Lolita reviews. Lolita is a capital L and then a capital R and it's plural. So Lolita reviews. Bit ly Lolita reviews. And then tag me. Tag me with your legacy statement. Tag me on Instagram at Hey, Coach Walker. Or. Or on Facebook and Coaching Cocktails and Conversations. I'd love to celebrate with you. I'd love to give you a cheer. So until next time, cheers to your rebrand. I am cheersing to your ripple and cheers to the legacy of who you are becoming, who you are building right now inside of this space. I'm so excited to have been right here with you.
[00:28:05] We have concluded yet another episode of Coaching Cocktails and Conversations with Lolita E. Walker. If you love this episode, you already know what to do. Leave a powerful review and let somebody else share in the love. Yes. Please connect with me@lolita walker.com. that's L O L I T A walker.com and follow me on all socials. IG is at hey, Coach Walker. And don't forget to go ahead and grab my books. Can we talk the series?
[00:28:36] I have a number of those in that series, as well as the intersection of you and change and It's Not Fair. A book about divorce by a son and his mom. Can't wait to chat. See you next time.
[00:28:51] Free audio post production by alphonic.com.
