Plotting My Come Back for My Come Up (with Lolita E. Walker)

Episode 95 February 28, 2024 00:30:14
Plotting My Come Back for My Come Up (with Lolita E. Walker)
Coaching, Cocktails, & Conversations
Plotting My Come Back for My Come Up (with Lolita E. Walker)

Feb 28 2024 | 00:30:14


Show Notes

Grab your detective gear, and let's get to work.  It's episode #95 and we are investigators of our own lives—at work, home, and life.  Join me as I take you through a pictoral journey of soul work with a live audience on how we can truly begin to plot our comeback for our next come up.  Are you ready? I know that I am!


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Episode Transcript

[00:00:00] Speaker A: Welcome to coaching cocktails and conversations with. [00:00:03] Speaker B: Lolita E. Walker, the podcast that coaches you up while meeting you exactly where you are. Grab your water, tea or something stronger and allow this podcast to help you feel the power in your cause. Come on in and join the conversation. [00:00:22] Speaker A: Bless up. Hello. Hello everyone. I am Lolita E. Walker. I'm so excited to be here one more time. It is season five for coaching cocktails and conversations, the podcast, which means I've been with some of you all for five seasons. For five years. Some of you all for four. Some of you all for three. Some of you all for even more. But I just want to thank you guys for being on my journey. It has been definitely a journey and I'm so super excited about it. Today, my topic is how to plot your comeback for your come up. How to plot your comeback for your come up. And so I want to, of course, say hey to my Facebook community coaching, cocktails and conversations, LinkedIn, YouTube and my podcast coaching cocktails and conversations and all of the replays that will happen all across the universe. But in the meantime, in between time, I want you guys to get into this topic. What do you think about when you hear how to plot your comeback for your come up? Oh my goodness. When we think back to last year, even last month, even a couple of hours ago, there are things that we recognize like, hey, wait a minute. Hold on. It's time for a comeback. Why? Because 2024 is really all about my come up and where I'm going. From this point forward, I love absolutely hearing from people to talk about. This is the lessons that I've learned. But today we're looking forward. We're looking into the future. And so I want to take you on this journey with me. You guys, I love metaphors. I love to take you on a pictorial journey. If you're looking at me, I'm moving my hands all of the ways. So I'm going to say good morning and I want you all to get ready by grabbing your CCNC journal or your papers so that we could get started. We only have a power half an hour. And the topic today again is how to plot your comeback for your come up. I want you to imagine at this time and go with me on a journey that you are detective. You are a detective. You are investigating. What are you investigating? What's your mission? Is your life? It's like this thrilling mystery of your life, your life at work, at home, at school, at your board meetings, as a mommy, as a father, as a guardian, whatever it is, that's happening in your life. I want you to go with me on this detective mission, okay? Because we're plotting our comeback for our come up. And as we think about this mission of plotting your comeback for your come up, just like a detective, it unravels threads that are complex. You're not an easy person. You're not an easy person to unravel. And so you too are going to investigate the circumstances of your life. We, through this process of this power, half an hour, we are going to gather some clues. We're going to piece together a strategy for our comeback. Why? Because there's pieces of us that have been forgotten along the way. And I want to take you on that journey so that I could leave you with these five strategies of how we are going to individually and collectively do that. It's like blues clues. As I was thinking about this last night, I started thinking about what is necessary in my life. When I start thinking about the clients that I'm working with right now, I'm thinking what is happening inside of their lives that I can help to gift people in advance so that they can begin to plot their comeback for their come up in this new season. And then I started thinking about their clues, their clues that are along the way. So I want you to think about those clues that are along the way. Why? Because it's time for come up. So because I am an educator, I'm also going to remind you, like we're doing a couple of things today. You are placing yourself in the mode of a detective at this point in time. Your mission is your life's journey to plot your comeback for your come up. And just like the detective, we are going to look at the circumstances, we're going to unravel those things. We're going to gather clues, and then we're going to piece together this strategy for our comeback. I'm really excited to be able to do that because God leaves us little lessons along the way. God puts people inside of our places and our spaces so that we can absolutely see it when our eyes are ready to open up. So as this amazing detective, because I think I'm a detective all of the time, I'm always looking and being like, what's going on over there? And I know I'm not alone because my eleven year old son, he's a detective, too. He'll facetime me sometimes and we're facetiming and we're talking and he's like, hey, where are you? I know you're not at home because that wall doesn't look like something that's inside of our house. Well, listen, we also can gather our clues, and that's what I want to share with you guys today. So the key here is, yes, you are a detective. It's not just about solving the case, okay? It's about understanding the bigger picture. Remember, we're connecting the dots and using this knowledge to strategize what I'm calling our comeback for our come up in this new year. So, by now, you've already gotten your CCNC journal, or you've gotten a sheet of paper, and you're really thinking about these five strategies that I want to give to you today. And the first one, as you put on your detective hat for your life, as you grab your magnifying glass to look a little deeper, as you start to see things a little bit differently, as you open up your eyes, I want you to begin to plot this season. And how are we going to plot it? Well, the first thing that we're going to do is recognize that this is going to be a journey. We're not going to find it all at once. But the first thing we're going to do is we have a little bit of self reflection and introspection. So I want you to write that down. Self reflection and introspection. When we think about it, it's like, where have we come from? So just like a detective, you need to investigate your own life. And how do we do this? A swot analysis. So good. Swot analysis. Our strengths, our weaknesses, our opportunities, and our threats for our life. Why? Because we are plotting our comeback for our come up. Makes sense. So what I want you to do is draw a box because you're looking at your CCH journal. You're grabbing a sheet of paper wherever it is, and then you are writing there a box that has swot. And inside of that, you are going to really start to look at your strengths, your opportunities, your weaknesses, and your threats. I did that out of order. But strengths, weaknesses, opportunities, and threats. It is your swot analysis. Okay. Why is that so important to do that? This is about self reflection and introspection. Good morning, Lolita. The comeback for the come up requires reflection, focus, strategizing, and acting. I love it. Thank you, Dr. Luckett. And then the catalyst says, facts, dream bigger. Absolutely. Dream bigger. One of the things I recognize in my own reflection and digging in a little bit deeper, being that detective to look with my magnifying glass is that, oh, my gosh, where I'm dreaming is big. I definitely go beyond where I'm standing and I go beyond that. Okay, I'm always here for the leap, but what I didn't really recognize is Lolita. What about going even further and farther, even beyond where your thoughts and your dreams take you? What about talking about this with somebody else? Because they can push you in different ways that you can't even see yourself. I was sitting with someone the other day and they said, where's your book? You're usually working on a book at this time. And I remember when you said that you wanted to grab these 22 poems out of your book. Out of your book. Can we talk and make them into individual books? And you've got two of them out. That's such a win. But what about the other 20 that's coming? Come on, we need to pump these out. I thought you said this is someone replaying this to me. I thought you said that every year you were going to be issuing, issuing, issuing another book and how powerful that was. Oh, my gosh, what happened to that dream? Because I could see it. I could see behind me, I could see the walls of Barnes and noble. I could see all the books that's lined up there. I could see all of them. Don't forget about your dreams. This is about self reflection. This is about talking it out loud. This is about telling people what your dreams are. Because why? We are plotting our comeback for our come up. We're going to keep on going into this because I want you to imagine yourself as this detective. You are looking at the clues. And now we are going to strategize what this looks like. So now that you're looking at your box, and it has four aspects of it, and it has your strengths, it has your weaknesses, it has your opportunities, and it has your threats, then I want you to dig in and look a little bit closer. I want you to think about who are you going to share this thing with? Because we're in the beginning of the year, y'all, we are in quarter one. And so then we can take this and we can look at quarter two, we can look at quarter three, we can look at quarter four. And if you've listened to me for any stretch of the imagination and you recognize that, hey, this is all about assessing and doing, this is about replotting our plan. This is about when doors get open that we didn't even know we were going to open, we're going to look back at the beginning and say, hey, where were my goals and where am I going now? Because I'm just pushing these limits. Why? Because our time on this earth is limited, and the impact that we want to make is so, so good. I want us to dream bigger, to go broader, to go bolder, to go better. All of those bees, just keep on adding them up, okay? This today is all about plotting your comeback for your come up. And we're doing it as though we are a detective with our mission being our life. It's to plot our comeback for our come up because there's a little bit of forgotten us, because we've gotten so busy. We're doing all of those things. So we do need to go back. We need to look with the magnifying glasses at the thing that we are bringing forward, and then we need to act. That first strategy I left you with is self reflection and introspection. Try to say that five times. I love it. That first section is really doing that by way of a swot analysis. Okay. The second thing I want you to do is start to question these assumptions that you're making inside of your life. Listen, detectives don't take things at face value. Right? I know you all watch all of those shows on tv. I'm not the only one who watches law and order. I'm not the only one who watches the cop shows on the detective shows. I want you guys to think about what if you were walking into a scene and had to really take a look at what this person's life looks like? Are you excited about it? Are there things that are there that have been forgotten? If you were to go into your bedroom and to look around, if you were to walk in throughout your house, what is it saying about you? What is it saying about your dreams? What is it saying about your hopes? Are there remnants right there that say, oh, my gosh? Yes, I'm going to use me as an example. I see these four books that are right. As soon as you walk into her living room, that should spark something in me to say, oh, my gosh, where are the other 20? So those are things that we absolutely want to do, because we want to take our magnifying glasses and in our self reflection, in our introspection, in our notion of wanting to dig a little bit deeper, because our comeback for our come up is right around the corner. We're going to take a look at the things that might have been forgotten. I want to pause and make sure I say this. Miss Pam said, I love when people remind us of our dreams and hold us in a place of greatness. Oh, my gosh, that's so good, Pam. Thank you so much. She's on YouTube. And Jackie on Facebook said, hey, I'm here for all of these. I'm here for all of these. So I hope you guys are not just listening, but really writing this down to remind you, put it in your calendar that on Friday of this week, on today of this week, on Monday of next week, whenever that day is, push it in there and say, for this hour, I'm doing my SWOT analysis. Because it's time. It's time for me to put a magnifying glass on my life. And I will be the detective that is creating the narrative for how this thing is going to draw out, because I am plotting my comeback for my come up. We talked about self reflection in that SWAT analysis. We talked about questioning assumptions. So I want you to challenge your assumptions on what you can and can't do. I don't want to hear what you can't do. Of course. Who's telling you you can't? Okay, well, name me one way you can try to do that. What was it the other day that Walker said I can't do? Oh, I forget what it was, but I said, sure you can. He's like, I can't do that. And I said, well, let me give you a couple of ways on how you can do that. Because the end state, we already know what the end is. We already know what you want at the end. And so maybe are unable to do it the way you're thinking about it right now. But let's think about three other ways. I'll go first. And as you start to create that, how can you get to that end state, I want you to be like Stephen Covey and look at the end. Have the end in mind. I want you to have the end in mind because we're the detectives of our life. I want you to see that with clarity. And now let's walk into this way. And there's a million ways you can do it. So what, the first way doesn't work. So what, the obstacle looks too big, jump over it. And why jump if you can't just walk on around it? Remember, I think it was a couple of weeks ago, I had inside of our session together. I said, sometimes the door gets closed in your face. And it's a brutal close. It's like, boom, right in your face. And you kind of jump back a little bit, like, wait a minute, hold on. I didn't know that. But what if you just turn the handle? Because half the comments, the door is actually open. But somebody on the other side said that, oh, if I shut it in her face, she's not even going to try. Somebody on the other side said, because I'm an only inside of my position right now, that I am not worthy of this role. Really? That's what you think? Watch me soar. Whatever it is that you need to look at inside of your life with your magnifying glass, I want you to look at it. Because today's goal is what is to plot your comeback for your come up. And that's exactly what we're doing at this moment. If you're looking at me live, I am putting up what we talked about today. So the first is reflection and introspection, okay? That's when we talked about the SWot analysis. The second is questioning the assumptions because we don't take things at face value. Absolutely not. We as the detectives, the mighty amazing detectives that we are, we dig deeper. We challenge assumptions about what we can and what we won't do, what we cannot do. We remove that from our vocabulary because we are thought leaders. We are moving and shifting and impacting on our way. And so I want you to pass your comeback. I want you to pass your comeback. I have this blueprint to get you to where you want to go based on where you've been and based on where your goals and your dreams are. And so for you, I want you to think about that, because if you really think about it, you could put the box of your SWOT analysis right at the front of that, and that can be the opening door so that you know exactly where it is that you're going. So you know where you might have stumbling blocks and your weaknesses and opportunities, what is threatening you. And then your strengths are going to power you forward. You're going to walk along that thing because there's clues that you will see, there's resources that you will use in order to help you for your comeback because you're clear at where it is that you're going. Imagine that we're pathing our comeback. I'm so excited about this because as I talk more and more about it, I can not only vision it, but I can see it for myself, which means I can see it for each and every one of you all. And I want you all to be able to do that. So, number three, we've already talked about one and two, and number three is seeking different perspectives. You are not a solo champion. If you follow me on Instagram at Hey, Coach Walker, then I put up a clip from one of my podcast episodes that I recently released, and it says, who told you that you were a solo champion? Nobody's a solo champion, so get that out of your mind. You didn't get here by yourself, and so the same way you didn't get here by yourself. Other people aren't getting there by themselves. Somebody had to help you. And so what we want to do on this path to our comeback is we want to seek different perspectives. Remember, we're detectives. And so a good detective is going to look at the case from so many different angles, including you. You are as well. And so those angles might come from what other people are feeding you. Now, some of them you're going to use, but some of them you're going to leave right there because it's really for somebody else, not really for you. You have discernment, and so we pray for that discernment so that you can seek advice and perspective from other people. It doesn't mean that you need to take it. It means that you will grab all of that, leave what you don't need right there at the time, and then you'll take it. You'll reflect, and then you'll leave. Whatever is not going to suit you, but then you will continue to move it because you are gifting guidance and input to people along their path. I hope you know that every single day when you decide to speak to somebody, you're leaving. Little nuggets of you. I leave a bit of lolita in you all every single week when I come on here and talk to you. I love this. Pam on YouTube also said, why not me? We are worthy and can give ourselves permission to be bold. Kick that door open. Absolutely bust it down. Remove the hinges. I love that, Pam. Absolutely. Remove the hinges for that. We're here for it all. Oh, my gosh, I so love that. Because not only can I see it, but it's not only a metaphor, you guys, it really is busting that door down. And here's the thing, is that sometimes it's not even that hard. Like I said, sometimes it's just the twist. Sometimes it's just thinking, like, I know at face value, this thing looks closed. Oh, my gosh, let me just open it and walk in. That person, that place, that thing that wanted to stunt you from going where it is that you know that you're going, they've been gone. It was in that momentary interruption in your life, that momentary interruption that happened right there that tried to keep you down. But we don't have time for that because we're moving. We are detectives in this thrilling mystery of our life. This is Lolita's life. This is Pam's life. This is Trisha's life. This is Dr. Luckett's life. Yes. So we're starting with our swot analysis for the year. We're then questioning our assumptions as we move forward. We're challenging these words that we're saying to ourselves, like, I can't do that because we're detectives and thinking outside of the box. This is for our own lives. It matters. We're getting clear on where it is that we want to go. And then we're seeking different perspectives on our journey. Why? Because we didn't do it alone. Why? Because we can't do it alone. And as I said, can't. We will not do it alone. This thing called life is impossible trying to do this thing alone, but we're not going to do that because we have so many resources that are right here inside of our lives. Absolutely. And here's the know. I was on the phone the other day, Dora Maria the other day, and as we continued to talk about the topic we were talking about, started talking resources and how good is that? And sometimes it's just a brainstorm with somebody else that you. Huh. I didn't really even look at it like, huh. Actually, now that you triggered that inside of my thought, I could think of three other people that might even be able to help me along my journey. How good is that? It matters when you seek different people's perspectives. It matters when you make yourself vulnerable and talk about your dreams out loud. It matters when you tell people in this year, by December 31, guess what I'm going to be celebrating. Guess what I'm going to be celebrating. And I hope you're here for the journey. I hope you're here for the journey. And what if then they add in some things to help you on your journey forward, to help you think bigger, bolder, better. All of the bees that I talked about earlier. So we have our self reflection. We're starting at the beginning of our pathway and our blueprint with our swot analysis. We're questioning the assumptions that come along the way. We're challenging our thinking inside of this aspect right here. We're challenging what we say yes to. We're challenging what we say no to. We're owning our yeses and respecting the no's that come along the way. Those things we're asking ourselves why? Why five times? You remember doing that in school? Ask yourself why? Why? To be able to dig down to the root cause of things. We're doing that because we're investigating our comeback for our come up. We're seeking different perspectives. And then the fourth opportunity and strategy that I have for you to consider today is embracing the change that comes along the way. And sometimes that's not easy. Why? Because we're very clear on where it is that we want to go. But what I want you to do in this exercise right here is erase all the hows you're going to get that done. It's about the what right now? It's about the what right now. And so sometimes we put our hows in there and the how we're going to do the thing really gets us tripped up. We tripping ourselves up before we even get on a pathway to success. Why? Because in our minds we say this is the way we're going to do it. Which then when you go back to questioning assumptions and when you use those words like, I can't do that, it's because I can't do it how I imagined it, how my how was in the beginning. And I know that that's not just me. The how is out of the window because we're clear on our future state, on that end goal of where we want to get. And sometimes embracing the change means that we have to adapt to the new information and changes that are inside of our case. And our case is, guess what, our life. So be open to the change. It's not going to be linear. It's going to be up and downs and twists and turns and people coming into your life that ask you for opportunities or want to bring you into amazing opportunities that you might have to say no to. But you got to take a look at it and understand your no and respect it. Sometimes the juiciness looks so good on the other side, and it might not be for you in this moment right now, just in this moment right now, it might be a year from now, it might be two years from now, it might be a month from now. It might be that you have to do it, you have to delegate it or you have to disappear from it. Because right now, where it is that I'm going, I know this sounds really good, but this isn't where it is that I know that I'm shaping myself in my life to go ask yourself about those things. I love that a Facebook user said, we need others perspective because we can't have tunnel vision on our lives. Oh, my gosh. So good. Jackie said that on Facebook. It's so absolutely good and so absolutely true. So I want you guys to think about that. And then as we almost close out, I want to leave you with the last aspect of what I'm talking about inside of our detective moments is to celebrate our wins. Now, you know I'm always talking about celebrating your small win. So every clue that a detective saws is a small win. It's a victory. And I want you to remember that today. Every single clue, every single thing that you solve, every single accomplishment that you have, every single, aha. Those are small wins. Progress is what we're celebrating for success. This is going to boost your morale. This is going to help increase your Clarity, your confidence, your commitment. This is going to keep you motivated for your comeback journey. Right. Why? Because we're coming up at the end of this. So I want you all to remember that the journey is the comeback. The journey is the comeback. Okay. The exercises are the come up. The soul work that I'm giving you is the come up. These small wins are it. You will be equipped to plot your comeback for your come up. And as I talk about small wins, I do want to show you, because I always love to tell you how I apply these things in my life. Listen, if you're watching me, I'm moving my camera to the side because guess what's up here? A small wins board. I know you all don't think I do my own work. I do. And as I explained to you all before, and that's just a flip chart sheet of paper. And why is that important? Because I have myself and my son's names on there. And then we have every single day that's happening this month, and we talk about what our small wins were for that day. So today is day four. We haven't written day four yet because day four didn't end. We do it at the end, but we do have day one, day two, and day three. Right. Monday was the first. Then we have the second, then we have the third. And then we each write what our small win is for January. Why is that important? Because at the end of the month, when you think you didn't do all of the things, I want you to celebrate the wins that you've had. It's not five wins a day. It's not four wins a day. It's not zero wins a day. It's celebrating one small win a day. And there's no judgment when it comes to that. These are small steps. Includes. I laugh all the time because sometimes it could be I had two desserts oh, my gosh. What an amazing thing that was. I finally got a nap, whatever it is. I closed out this project. I got two new clients today. I booked a speaking engagement today. I actually was a super friend to somebody today, and I saw that smile that I haven't seen from them in a long time. Your journey is not just your own, but there's other people who are going to journey with you along the way. And so we have three minutes. I want to definitely open it up. If somebody had anything that they wanted to add. [00:25:37] Speaker C: I do. [00:25:38] Speaker A: Dr. Walker. Thank you. Jackie, how are you doing? [00:25:41] Speaker D: I love this. What a great analogy that you use with the detective. I had to cut. So relationships here, 2024. And so it's a little emotional. We don't just cut people at your life and just walk away. I don't need you because you love people and when you cut them, you cut them because you need to. And it's a reason why they no longer serve you. And so I have to cut the relationship. So this whole strategy is going to help me to be able to come back from that because it's an emotional tear when you have to do that, but I know it's necessary. So this is so good that I have now steps and strategies I'm going to be able to use to be able to get through this journey. I love that. This is so good. [00:26:23] Speaker A: Thank you. [00:26:24] Speaker D: I love that. This is really juicy. You're so intentional about how we do things, and that's so important. Many people don't have it. They'll just talk to you as a coach, but you literally have strategies that people could apply to their lives and really they work. And so thank you for that intentionality. [00:26:42] Speaker A: Back to you. Oh, my gosh. Thank you so much, Jackie. I love that. And you know why? It's because I do the work. Know, Jackie was in my coaching program and we'll do it together. We'll do this work together. So let's draw out what our swot analysis is. Let's talk about what those things are. Let's talk about what might come your way. And because you start to know these things that might get in the way, because guess what? You've seen them before or you're projecting where you're going, then we can put some things in place in order to safeguard you. And so I love that. Jackie, thank you so much. And if there's one more person, we have the opportunity. [00:27:18] Speaker C: Good morning. Good morning, Lisa and everyone. Stacey, lucky going through the process of the doctorate like never before. The power of leaning in through know. Sometimes I couldn't see, I couldn't hear, I couldn't think. And when I couldn't, I leveraged their power to see, to hear, to think, and they helped and guide me to the next point where I could breathe. So, like never before, if you are looking to complete tasks or assignments or come up, as you say, get your tribe, get your tribe. Because there's power in the two, the three and the four. I hope everybody has a good morning. [00:28:02] Speaker A: Oh, thank you so much. And there's also power in talking about it. People ask me all the time because I have a lot of things going on in my life as I close right now is people ask me all the time, why do you have people in your business so much? Why do you talk about all of the things that you do? And honestly, you guys, I talk about my phd journey because it powers me. It reminds me not to give up. That's why I talk about it. And other people might feel as though that I'm not able to do all of the things, but you don't have to judge that piece because I'm right here. I am plotting my own journey. So as I go through this journey, your support is so important. And so as we continue to support each other, remember that you are the detective in your life. So I'm so appreciative of each and every one of you all. Thanks, guys. [00:28:49] Speaker B: We have concluded yet another episode of coaching, cocktails and conversations, the podcast with Lolita E. Walker. Connect with [email protected] for speaking, coaching and my books. The intersection of you and change. And can we talk letters and poems to reclaim a bolder you listen. Have you already grabbed your BC and C Garb? Yes. We are coming with tumblers, stimulus glasses, a journal, a hoodie, and don't forget the t shirt. We are leaning all the way in. We also know that coaching, cocktails and conversations is a movement. Not only is it paraphernalia, not only is it this powerful podcast that you have right here in this right now, but it is a zoomcast. It is a coaching community, it is a Facebook group, it is a clubhouse group. Go ahead and lean into to see all things coaching, cocktails and conversations. And next time bring a friend, invite them to like to share and to give that five star review. Cheers. I cannot wait to see you back around my kitchen table for coaching, cocktails and conversations, the podcast with Lolita E. Walker.

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