[00:00:00] Speaker A: Hello. Hello. I am Lolita Ewalker. I'm a certified life leadership and executive coach. If this is your first time, then you know, you might not know yet, but you will know that I love to give metaphors in order to talk through just some life lessons. I like to bring you what I call coaching cocktails and conversations. Welcome to coaching cocktails and conversations with Lolita E. Walker, the podcast that coaches you up while meeting you exactly where you are.
[00:00:26] Speaker B: Grab your water, tea, or something stronger.
[00:00:30] Speaker A: And allow this podcast to. To help you feel the power in your pause. Come on in and join the conversation, lesa.
I want to chat with you guys about this title that I came up with today. It's called pressing pause, navigating your virtual reality. Pressing pause, navigating your virtual reality. Now, somebody might be listening in and saying, hey, well, I'm not living in a virtual reality. So what I want to do is I want to take you on this journey with me. I want to take you on this journey with me of this notion of a virtual reality game. And I've named it lifescapes, okay? I've named it lifescapes, and we're in this virtual reality game. So imagine stepping into a cutting edge virtual reality game, okay? It's called lifescapes. As you put on your VR headset, you're standing right there. The room around you fades away, as it does when you put on a headset, if you've ever put on one. And then you find yourself in this amazing, amazing landscape, okay? Whatever landscape is for you and your most be free space for me, it's water and trees. But whatever it is that you are, I want you to close your eyes, and I want you to imagine that when you put on these virtual reality glasses, you are now inside of the space of lifescapes. So welcome. The controls for this are really simple, so you don't need to be tech savvy. You have on this amazing, sleek wristband. The labels that's on it, it's three. It's very simple. Play pause and reset.
Remember, our title is pressing pause, navigating your own virtual reality, and we're inside of this virtual reality called lifescapes. All right, now, what I want to leave you with is this notion of pause. So, Paus, if you have your cc and c journal, grab it. If you have a sheet of paper, grab it. If you want to go on this reality, virtual reality with me, keep your eyes closed, whatever it is that you need to be in order to pull all the juiciness that I'm about to give to you. I want you to be inside of that place, in that space right now. So, we have. We're ready for our virtual reality game. We're pumped up. We might even have some of our friends that we're connected to. And the first thing I want you to take away from today, remember, we only have a power half an hour, is this notion of a perception shift. That's our p. A perception shift.
Now, just like in a video game, our perception is what shapes our reality when life gets chaotic, because it does. I've named a couple of the hats that I wear inside of this world as I navigate this thing called life. And I'm sure you have a lot of different hats as well. I'm an educator. I'm a doctoral student. I'm a podcaster. I'm a mommy. I'm an authorization. All of the things that we are doing. Imagine all of those titles being right there. So it could happen occasionally that you could feel a little chaotic.
It's okay to press the pause button. It's okay to press the pause button. And I want to remind somebody of that, because sometimes we don't give ourselves permission to simply press pause and recognize. Here's the greatest part of it, is that what if there's power within the pause? Last week, if you were here with me, I talked about another game. I'm into this gaming thing lately. Another game. And I said, what if you. It's like Super Mario, and you jump on this little thing that gives you all this power, and it gives you this power boost, and it soars you beyond where it is that you are? But what if pressing pause right now allowed you to mentally step back? Because in our virtual reality game, here's the. Here's the beauty of the thing. Everyone, is that obstacles we face.
What if they're merely illusions that are waiting for you to reframe them?
I'm gonna let that sit for a minute. So, inside of this virtual reality game, I want you guys to think about exactly what I just said is, what if the obstacles that are in life, because you have obstacles, there's probably one sitting right before you right now, one that you just leaped over, two on the side, and one that's. You can already see it coming, so you're starting to get weary.
This is the perception shift and knowing, trusting and believing that you have the energy and the power to guess what, shift that obstacle, to really look at it like the illusion for which it is. And now it's just waiting for you to reframe that thing. Oh, my gosh. Yes, yes, and yes. Tara's all in. She says, love the illusions. Yes, I love the illusions because I want us to remember that. Listen, guys, this thing is just an illusion. We're reframing it. It just want our mind wants us to think that that's the barrier that's in the way and we can't get around it. Yes, we can. We can actually walk around it because half the time it's not as big as what we thought. We could probably leap over it because we've been exercising for sure, right? Sometimes the door is right there at the obstacles, but fear stands in the way of us in moving forward. And so today I want to encourage you to shift your perception. So we're starting with that p. And that's all about the perception shift. Okay? And I'm talking to myself as well. That's about the perception shift. Now, as we move into the a, now that I have you and we're deep into our game right here. We're exploring. We're doing all of the things. We're recognizing that obstacles are merely illusions. We're reframing them. We are moving, moving beyond them. We're powering them. It's our own virtual reality. We actually can make this thing happen how we want. We then are going to move to the a, which is our awareness check. All right, we got to do some checks as we're walking, talking and behaving. And here's the thing that the pause button. And this is what I have up. If you're looking at me live. The pause button isn't just for emergencies.
It's also for mindfulness. It's also for awareness. It's also to check in.
You know how people say, check yourself before you wreck yourself? Sometimes they're saying it to others, but what if we said it to ourselves in our game? We're going to press it when we need to check in with ourselves. If you. If you played any virtual reality, then sometimes you kind of get lost in that thing being so real. I love doing a bowling game, and I've shared with you all before that. I remember bowling one day. And you have this option to actually hear people and they can hear you, and you can have these amazing conversations as you're in the game. And this person, I don't know who it was. They came into my lane. I'm like, well, what are you doing? And as we're having this conversation, I recognized that the person was a child.
And how scary is that? And although I'm not going to take advantage of this child, and the child likely just wanted to have some fun inside of the bowling alley. It's so scary out there. And so sometimes we lose track of where it is that we're going, what it is we're doing, because we're having so much fun and doing so many things that we start to be attracted to. Sometimes the wrong type of people doing the wrong type of thing.
Yesterday I went to this amazing. Last night I went to this amazing celebration for some of our 2024 graduates. And while I was there, there was this motivational speaker who was there, and I've heard this before, but as he said this, imagine being a college student. They are graduating not only with their high school diploma, but also with a two year associate's degree. Oh, my gosh. They're starting as a junior in college. How powerful that is. Imagine the experiences that they've been through. So as they're reflecting in all of the things, one of the things that the motivational speaker says is, show me your friends and I'll show you your future.
Show me who your friends are and let me show you what your future is going to look like. And his thought around that was that when you're navigating this thing called light, and he took us through an acronym of life, and as you're journeying through this thing called light, what he said is, the f is about friends. Show me the people that you hang around and let me show you your future.
So in this game, this virtual reality game, I want you to think about who are the people that's on your train? Who are the people that you're connecting with? Who are the people that you're around all of the time? Because if I look at them, the way they're navigating this thing called life, and guess what? I'm going to see a little bit of you up in there, and I want to see where your future is going to be. Show me your friends and I'll show you your future.
Marianne. Hey there. Marianne said, wow. I know. Think about it. Think about it. And while it's not the first time that I heard that, imagine being a high school student and you're walking into life and somebody says that to you. Have you ever done. I do this sometimes with some of my clients, is on your hand, on your single hand of five fingers, and some people have six. But however many fingers you have on that one hand, I want you to go ahead and think about who are those five people that are in your core circle.
Somebody might be saying, I don't even have five in my core circle. And I understand now who your two, three, four, or five people or six people are in your frame of reference, inside of your virtual reality game, inside of your lifescapes. Who are the people that you call on all the time? Show me your friends. I'll show you your future. Is so true. Okay. It's so true. So we're doing that perception shift as we started off. We're looking at those barriers, recognizing that they are only illusions. We got this thing. We're moving beyond them. We're now checking ourselves for the awareness. So that's the a right there. And then the you. Are you ready? Because it's possible.
Undo your mistakes.
Undo your mistakes.
I love that Tara said, I revisit my hand every month. Every month. Okay. You got to revisit the train, the hand, or whatever it is. And you look at your circle, because sometimes it's expanding, and I don't want you to use ten. I want you to really think about the core, the core of who it is you go to. So thank you so much for that. The after the awareness check, we're undoing mistakes. And some people might say, well, oh, my gosh, the mistake is already made. How can I undo that? Well, in this light skate game, the one that we're doing right now, the one that we're playing right now, pressing pause allows you to rewind the thing. Correct mistakes. What does that look like in real life? Forgiveness. Oh, my gosh. Can we equate the two? I remember years ago, Tara and I used to run knees 24 hours rooms on clubhouse, and we used to talk about the power of forgiveness. We have all these amazing topics that we would talk about and bring all of these experts in that's talking about all of these different topics. And forgiveness was one we always used to get all of the juiciness about, because there's always someone that's holding on to something. And today, I want to remind you that in this game of life, skates, when you press the pause button, it allows you to step back, to rethink and then to correct the missteps or the missteps that you've had along the way. Because we learn from our mistakes. We learn from them.
There's a mistake that you will make today, and guess what? You're going to learn from it. And I absolutely love it. Yesterday, at the same event I was at celebrating these scholars who were there, one gentleman got up, and he said, I wouldn't be here today. Listen, he's a high schooler. I would not be here today if it wasn't for the mistakes I made. So you lean in and you're like, all of this wisdom is coming from this young man who's about to graduate. Now, I know he's taking some college courses, so his maturity is a little higher than some of our other high schoolers, but I want to lean in and listen in. And what he said was he didn't recognize in his freshman year as an 8th grader in high school that. No, a 9th grader. High school. He didn't recognize as a 9th grader in high school when they said, you're going to be taking college courses, that it was really a college course that he was going to be taking. And he said that that probably was the easiest college course that he took, but he failed it. And he said, not only did I fail it once, but I failed it twice. And he said, there were so many people that were just talking to me about, oh, my gosh, you're not going to get through it. You're not going to get through it. But then there were those people who were saying, oh, you got this thing. And he said, just this semester, he finally passed so that he could graduate that easy class.
Oh, my goodness. And he said, if it wasn't for the mistakes, if it wasn't for those mistakes that I made up front, if it wasn't for me failing and seeing everybody moving on, if it wasn't for me not studying, then I wouldn't know what the study habits are that I need right now in order to further myself. Oh, my gosh. It's the revelation in the reflection. It is undoing the mistakes. It is recognizing that pressing pause is acknowledging forgiving yourself or others and then moving. Undo the mistakes. It can happen in our lifescapes, and it can happen all of the places. Okay. It can happen all of the places. So I want to remind you of that. Because today, whatever it is that you are navigating through in your own lifescapes, I want to remind you that you can shift the perception, you can check your awareness, you can undo your mistakes. And now we're moving to the s right there. Self care breaks.
I'm talking to myself about that right now.
Self care breaks. Why is that important? Because this pause button that we're talking about right now does not equate to weakness. It's self care when you're overwhelmed, because I know that you can be when you're overwhelmed. Take a break. It's okay on your yes, respect your no. And sometimes the no is what's going to lead you into the yeses in the future. I say that all the time. Only a yes. Respect your no. So much so that I have sweatshirts and t shirts that say that. That I sell because I want others to recognize that I'm owning my yes and I'm respecting a no. And I might be about to tell you no right now. So what's your question? Right, you gotta know it.
I just was interviewed for this. I want to say it's a documentary.
I'm not really sure if it's a documentary, but it's this amazing collage of women inside of Prince George's county, Maryland, done by Wesley Oliver and his friend. I forget his friend's name, but I had the amazing opportunity to be an executive producer on it. I know. Add another title to the things, and it was so much fun. I'm glad that he said yes to even allowing me to be on the project. But what I'm trying to tell you within this thing right here is that he asked a question about how do you take self care breaks? What do you do for self care?
And sometimes you have to breathe in a minute and take a pause for a minute. Because I know I'm not the only one who can go on autopilot and do all of the things. And I remember there was this one woman who said, I create very good boundaries around myself. And I say no. She says, it's just an in and o. It's so easy to do, but we struggle so much to do the thing. So this self care pause button is not a weakness. When you feel overwhelmed, I want you to take that break, retreat and then start again. It's okay to be recharged.
Whether it's a cozy nook or a sunny beach. I could use a beach right now. Then remember that even superheroes need downtime, guys. Even superheroes need to rest for a second.
I love this. Doctor Tara Murney said, good for the young scholar who was able to learn from his mistakes and undo them. And just like that, we too can undo the mistakes that we have. And then we can recognize that it's in this. This self care bubble that we're able to do all the things. So I don't know who it is I'm talking to right now about the p, the a, the u, the s, and this e right here. But I want to open it up after and see what you might have taken away. So the e, the e is all about exploration mode. Exploration mode. The speaker yesterday said, you know, he was doing this acronym on life, l, I f e. He's like, what do you think the e is for? He pulled out this hundred dollar bill, and he said, this hundred dollar bill is for anybody who is about to tell me what my e is.
So, you know, I'm like, I got it. It was really for the scholars. And so everybody, he said, and look at all these people paying attention now. They don't miss the l, the I, the f, but they're here for this e and this $100. Let's talk motivation. So he's holding up this hundred dollars, and he's walking through. Real story. He's walking through. He's walking through. He's walking through. And you hear everything. You hear everything. And finally, somebody says, eternity. And he said, here's your hundred dollars.
And he talked about this eternity being that we all are going to leave this earth at some point in time, but our legacy is here for an eternity, and we're living today for the eternity or for the legacy that we're leaving. I paraphrased that. But that's what I took away from it. And the beauty in that is that, as a high schooler, is even us sitting here today and listening in to think about the legacy, the eternity, the is to know that exploration mode exists.
Exploration mode. Sometimes we're so focused on the main quest. Sometimes we're so focused on winning at the end. Sometimes we're so, so focused on what? That finishing at the finish line first. That we miss the hidden side quest.
If you were here when I was talking about a journey the other day, I talked about, there's these hidden buttons along the way, these hidden gems along the way, and sometimes they're hidden right in plain sight. Sometimes there's keys that's dangling right in front of us saying, hey, this is the door that's open for you right now. Walk in it. You know, when you get that bubbling feeling and is that person that's sitting across the room and, you know, you should go speak to that person.
Go. It's okay to say hello. It's okay to give somebody a smile. It's okay to do all of the things and not need anything in return. Sometimes the blessing is not for you. It's for the other person. And when God is shifting you to be able to make an impact on somebody else, jump into it, it's so amazing. And sometimes we miss listening to the calling that is right there in our ears. We like, huh? That wasn't for me right there. I know. I think I heard it. But when it comes again, I'm listening again.
When it comes again, I'm gonna listen to it again. I love that. Right? You gotta think about all of the things. And today, in case you're just joining us, we talked through this title of pressing pause to navigate your own virtual reality. We went through this virtual reality game that I've named lifescapes. And so I want to invite you to listen back to the replay of this so that you can take away nuggets. In the first, I use the acronym pause. And the first thing I took you through was a perception shift. The second thing was an awareness check. The third thing was undoing the mistakes. Because it's possible in our lifescapes game, and it's actually possible right here when you acknowledge and you forgive. Because we need to remove all of what's hanging over our head in order to soar in this game called life. Then self care breaks, and the next was all about exploration. And I want to encourage you guys to do all of the things you can, and you will. My goal today was really to leave you with this virtual reality scenario. You walking through all of this reality, and it is an alternate reality. It is a virtual reality. But then relating that to your real life, relating that to your real life, because what's super important about all of those things is that it is applicable. Every single thing we do in life is applicable to a life's lesson.
Do you ask yourself? I know I ask myself this sometimes, is, what is the lesson in this thing, lord? What is the lesson you trying to show me? Because I really don't see it right now. And so I'm going to need to press the pause button right now so that I can reflect and I can do all of the things so I can reflect myself. I love that. Tara, Doctor Tara said, those are the greatest moments. I love that. And then someone on YouTube, Bebattle 26. Is this live now? Yes, it is live right now. But thank you for being here. I absolutely appreciate it. Virtual reality today, we talked that because for me, what's most important when we do coaching, cocktails and conversations is really all about leaving you not only with nuggets to challenge your thinking, but something that is going to shift you differently. I have a new coaching client, and she wants to shift her reality. People know her, for one thing, and she's like, no, I'm ready to. I'm ready to put this book to the sideline. Okay, put this book to the sideline. And now I want to restart. I want to start a new narrative. Is that possible? Well, absolutely. You've come to the right place. Let's start page one today. Let's thank the past for the past. We're going to sit in the present because we're all about shifting to our future. I love that. B. Battle 26 said, listen, I asked that all the time.
Me, too. Me, too. And here's the thing, is that it's okay to ask the questions. And what I talked about today, in case you go back to the replay, is walking through this virtual reality called lifescapes. I've named it lifescapes. It doesn't really exist, but maybe I should put it out into the world.
Life skates. And as you, somebody can look at that. When I first thought about, I'm like, am I trying to escape life? Am I trying to escape it? No. But what if I could find hidden gems along the way? What if this note that I found in my bag today or this business card that I just found a business card yesterday and I'm like, oh, my gosh, I need to contact the person right now. And luckily I was able to do that. But it's those hidden gems. Guess what? Now is the time. Now is the time. Oh, I love that. B. Battle is actually Ofc. Battle for Morgan. For Morgan State. Hey there. You know, I love my Morgan State, my Morgan State University. Absolutely love that. Officer battle, good to see you today. Listen, as I round up, want to also encourage you to hit up coaching cocktails and conversations as you're listening into any of your streaming platforms. I'm going to be pushing all of them today. All of them today. I'm going to be pushing them all out. But there's some that go all the way back. I think it was 2017. Maybe it's 2018. I don't remember when I started it. 1718 1921. Two, three, du Bois. Oh, I think I started it a little later than that. Maybe 2019. Anywho, you got five years at least worth of material that you can listen to and get poured into. And you know, when I first started my first season of coaching, cocktails and conversation, literally I was giving soul work every time. I was walking you all through exercises and then I was doing the exercises. Some of them are like hangman, some of them walk you through to draw a picture and imagine yourself on this hill. And then what does the hill look like? It was so in depth that first season. I feel like you got coaching one on one right there for free. So go ahead and listen back in. It's just so amazingly super. Doctor Jeannie hey girl. Hey. She said shift to the future. I love lifescapes.
[00:24:32] Speaker B: We have concluded yet another episode of coaching, cocktails and conversations, the podcast with Lolita E. Walker connect with
[email protected] for speaking, coaching and my books. The intersection of you and change. And can we talk letters and poems to reclaim a boulder? You listen. Have you already grabbed your CCNC garb?
Yes, we are coming with tumblers, stimulus glasses, a journal, a hoodie, and don't forget the t shirt. We are leaning all the way in. We also know that coaching, cocktails and conversations is a movement. Not only is it paraphernalia, not only is it this powerful podcast that you have right here in this right now, but it is a Zoom cast. It is a coaching community.
[00:25:25] Speaker A: It is a Facebook group.
[00:25:27] Speaker B: It is a clubhouse group. Go ahead and lean into lolitawalker.com to see all things coaching, cocktails and conversations. And next time bring a friend. Invite them to like, to share and to give that five star review. Cheers. I cannot wait to see you back around my kitchen table for coaching, cocktails and conversations, the podcast with Lolita E. Walker.
