[00:00:00] Hey, y'all. Hey. I am Lolita E. Walker. I'm a certified life leadership and executive coach. I'm a power speaker, podcaster, all of the things. But when I come to you for this power half an hour, it's really all about coaching cocktails and conversations. Welcome to coaching cocktails and conversations with Lolita E. Walker, the podcast that coaches you up while meeting you exactly where you are. Grab your water, tea or something stronger and allow this podcast to help you feel the power in your pause. Come on in and join the conversation. Let's go.
[00:00:40] Hey. To my Facebook community. Coaching, cocktails and conversations, LinkedIn, YouTube and clubhouse. We're going to get into it today because today's topic is really around diving into the world of leadership. We're going to dive into the world of leadership and we're going to have our leadership taps and leadership gaps. That's what I'm gonna call them today. Leader gaps and leader taps. And I wanna leave you all with that because one of the things I absolutely love to do is use acronyms and metaphors in order to pull us to where we wanna be so that you can really think differently around a topic for today. And today, I'm gonna leave you with power acronyms. So get your coaching cocktails and conversations journal. Put it right beside you because we're gonna start taking some notes today so that we can identify our leader gaps and our leader taps. So, Lolita, what do you mean when you say leader taps? These are in gaps. These are tools that every leader absolutely needs in your toolkit. Okay? Every leader absolutely needs these in their toolkits. And I wanna leave them with you today because I believe that they can then shift you in your work, your life, your home, your school, even. So, we're gonna talk about what the acronyms are, what they mean, and then I'm gonna relate it to work, life, home, school. And anytime that you want to pop in and say anything, anytime that you want to leverage the power of our comments or leverage the power of your voice, just go ahead and jump in, because that's what it's all about. That makes our power half an hour. Just go a little bit quicker, but absolutely more interactive. First, let me. Let me just dive into leader taps.
[00:02:17] When I thought about leader taps and leader gaps, I started thinking about tapping. I have a poem that's like, I'm tapping and tapping and tapping. And if you think about somebody tapping you, sometimes it could be a little irritating, right? But if they just give you a slight tap on the shoulder, it's like, I'm looking for your attention. Hey, turn around. I have something that I want to say to you. Let me grab you for a second. Let me help you identify something. Think of somebody that's just tapping you on your shoulder, tapping you on your leg. Hey, I want you to be aware of it. I know my mom used to, and my dad used to tap me underneath the table when they wanted me to be quiet if we were talking around somewhere or I'm jumping into a conversation, and they didn't get to give me the real look, you know, the parent look that they give you. And then you just shut up. That tap came. It's like, okay, okay, young lady, that's going to be the end of that one right there. And so you wrap it up. These taps I want to give you is all about awareness. And so what I'm going to talk to you about is tips, anecdotes, plans, and strategies.
[00:03:19] That is taps, tips, anecdotes, plans, and strategies. When I think about those for tips, remember, we're talking leader tips today. Leadership. It's all about leadership today. Tips is that leaders need to remember that communication is key.
[00:03:38] Clear, concise, and consistent. Communication actually helps to build trust inside of the organization, helps to build trust amongst your employees. Helps to build trust among those that are following you. As an entrepreneur. Communication is beyond key.
[00:03:53] Communication is key in everything that we do and as far as understanding your team. And so when we talk here and we're communicating, as I tell my students, I teach at the collegiate level, and as I tell them, too, is that I want you to leverage this space that we have together, to leverage the power of your voice. It increases your confidence. I want you all to stand up when you speak. It increases your confidence. I want you to look at people's body language. All of that is communication. I want you to hone in on what those cues are that might not be verbal. I want you to look and care about what you're writing down. I want you to recognize the intention that comes along with it. These tips today is about communication. We're talking about leadership tips, anecdotes, plans, and strategies. Now, we're going to get into the gaps, but today, this is where we're focused on right now. And why is this important? It's because sometimes we need to be shaken up a little bit. Sometimes, like, the tree just needs to be shaken up a little bit so that we can remember the leader that is within. And today, that's what I'm doing. The leader that is within needs to remember that one key tip when it comes to leadership is communication. That is a whole lot of tips I could leave you, but today I want to share with you this power of communication, what that looks like and what that feels like. So as you're writing down in your journal, I want you to think about how will I intentionally communicate today?
[00:05:26] Am I going to tackle home, work, life or school? What am I going to tackle in this moment, in your intention for today around communication? That's that tip, that anecdote.
[00:05:38] I remember a time when I was leading a project and we hit this major roadblock. Okay, so instead of panicking on this major roadblock that I came to, this obstacle was sitting in front of me instead. We could use this as an opportunity to innovate. We could use this as an opportunity to think differently. The roadblocks not going to turn us around, but we can think about this as an opportunity to innovate and discover a more efficient solution for what it is that is in front of us at the time.
[00:06:11] I always tell you all at this intersection of you and change that you could choose to move forward on this path. You could choose to leap over the obstacle. Sometimes you could just walk around the obstacle. Sometimes there's a door that's right there. But we're so caught up in the obstacle that we don't even look and see where can I innovate a little bit differently? And I want to challenge us today to think differently when it comes to the answer. Anecdotes. How am I going to solve this problem? I want to be solutions focused. Remember, this is about leadership taps. This is about making ourselves aware of what's happening inside of our space for overall leadership. I first talked about tips, this huge tip around communication. Next, I want to talk about these anecdotes and being solutions focused. Don't forget that I'm going to come back at the end and then relate it to your work, your life, your home and your school. But I want you to start really thinking about that right now because maybe you'll have different instances. And the power of articulating your voice, whether it's through comments or whether it's live, is that sometimes you spark something in someone else. Sometimes somebody's already thinking what you are. And I want you to really remember that I might be the change that somebody else needs to see inside of them. I should write that down. All right, plans. We're talking about taps. Ta and a p is all about plans. We got to have a plan, you guys. We got to be flexible within our plan, but we got to have a plan. Why? Because clarity plus confidence equals commitment, and that's how we show up. We want to be clear on that thing, but we want to have a plan and be flexible. Why? Because the best leaders, the most effective leaders, are those who can adapt their mindset, they can adapt their plans in their changing circumstances. I told you about the obstacle that's standing right before you. All of these are intertwined. We know that. Right? If there's a log of obstacles right before us, or if there's a mountain of obstacles right before us, if there's a person, if there's fear in front of us, whatever it is that's standing in front of us at this particular moment, if it was somebody that said, you can't, if it's your finances, if it's your emotional state, whatever that thing is, the leader within us is going to remember that. There's more than one way to skin a cat.
[00:08:30] Oh, my gosh. Why do we want to skin a cat? I know my father used to say that all the time. There's more than one way to skin a cat. Listen, there's more than one way to solve this problem. There's more than one way to get to our goal. There's more than one way to get to the future self, to meet myself at my future self. I want you guys to remember that that's the juiciness of being an amazing leader. What we're talking about is tips, anecdotes, plans, and then the ask is all about strategies.
[00:08:57] Develop strategies within your plan. How are you going to get this thing done? It's not just for success, but it's also for failure. Is that when I fail? Because I recognize that I will. When I fail, then what? Understand what to do when things go wrong.
[00:09:13] When you understand that piece right there, that's just a. That's just as amazing is understanding the success that is coming. And as a powerful leader that I know each and every one of us are, we're finding the leader within. And so these tips, these anecdotes, these plans, these strategies for leaders is what I'm calling our leader, taps. So leaders know, they trust. They believe that these leadership tips, anecdote plans and strategies can absolutely help them in their work. They're like their home. And so how can you do that? Let's start with the tips. Now, I told you that we have to remember that communication is our overall key for all of the things that we're doing, right? Yes. So how can you do that? Well, you might want to. If you're working, prioritize your task based on the urgency and the importance, and then talk about it. I want you to share it. These are my priorities for today. These are my priorities for the next 90 days. These are my priorities for my business in my next 30 days. This is the priority for right now, and I'm going to create boundaries around that makes sense. I hope this is making sense to people, because sometimes when we think about communication, we might want to put ourselves in a bubble on what that looks and feels like. The point is getting the word out and how you do that, whether it's written, whether it's on social, whether it's your consistency in your communication, whether it's showing up in your written communication, or showing up with these verbal nonverbal cues, it is something that it needs to be intentional on what it is you're doing. Sometimes we have to take the pause because our tips, our anecdotes, our plans, and our strategies need to be crafted in a way that they now seat within us. They're part of our leadership toolkit, and that's so important for us to recognize our leadership toolkit. Imagine this toolkit that you're walking around with. The toolkit can be like a fanny pack. It can be right beside you. It can be something that you're holding. But the point is, it could be a book bag, but it's something that you can tap into intentionally because you know that it's right there.
[00:11:19] You know that it's right there. I oftentimes talk about your strengths, knowing what your strengths are, knowing what those strengths are, and being able to say and articulate three of them, not only to communicate it to yourself, but to show up in it to others so that when they talk about your strengths, guess what they're already aligned to because you're demonstrating them every single day.
[00:11:43] If communication is one of your core strengths, I want you to know why. And then I want you to be able to leverage that in order to help you to increase and to soar beyond the echelon of where you are today. This is power. This is leadership.
[00:12:00] Oh, I love that. Kaylee said, I'm a little confused about plans and strategies. Aren't the strategies the plans to hit your goals? Can you expound on that one? Oh, my gosh. So good. I'm so glad that I looked down. Thank you so much.
[00:12:11] Think of the strategy as the umbrella. I talk about umbrellas all the time. Think of the strategy as I'm sorry. Think of the plan as the umbrella. Okay. And the strategy is how you execute. The strategy is the how. Okay. The plan is the overall what.
[00:12:28] The plan is what I'm going to do. The strategy is how I'm going to execute. I hope that makes sense. So thank you for asking me that, because there was somebody else that I'm sure was thinking the same thing. Think of plantain and then think of strategy. The plan is the overall, hey, this is the what I'm about to do for sure. I just want to be clear on the what and where I'm going, and then the how is the strategies that I'm going to enact the execution for that thing. Thank you so much for asking that question. So good. Okay. All right, so those are the tips. I'm sorry. Those are the taps. The taps. The tips. The tips. The taps. But tips are within the taps, okay? The tips. The antidotes, the plans and the strategies. Okay. Now I want to take you through the gaps.
[00:13:11] Leader gaps. Leader gaps. Now, most times when you think of gaps, what do you think about? You think that there is space in between. You think that I need to do something else. I need to close this gap. I have this. This. I have affirmation cards, and one of my affirmations say I leap because my faith and my strengths have wings that will protect my fall.
[00:13:33] That's one of my favorite affirmations. I leap because my faith and my strengths have wings to protect my fall. But when you look at the affirmation card, it's somebody that's going from point a to point b, and it's this wide gap in between. And it looks scary because the gap is so tall because they're up high and they're leaping over it. And what the picture looks like is, oh, my gosh. And it kind of can give you fear right there. But the affirmation of it all is I leap because my faith and my strengths have wings that are going to protect my fall. So I share that with you because anytime I think of gap, I think about that space in the middle. I think about the hyphen and how you're going to go from part a to part b, but jumping over that hyphen. So I want to give you guys that pictorial so that when you think of gaps, that's something that you can think of. And sometimes we're putting sometimes our tips, our antidotes, our plans and strategies will help us to close our gaps. And so for gaps today, what I'm leaving you with and those of you all have been. That have been to my women's weekend renewal retreat or you've been to. You've been to one of my coaching sessions or anything like that. This gaps is a little bit different, but this acronym right here is goals, actions, perspectives and skills. Why? Because this is what's going to help you close the gap that I'm referring to, right? Goals, actions, perspectives and skills. So we already have our tips, our antidotes, our plans and our strategies, but now we're going to discuss these gaps that are standing for goals, actions, perspective and skills. Because with goals leaders, we set clear and achievable goals. We know that, right? We always set clear and achievable goals. We talk about our smart goals. We talk about those things. And that can relate to the plan. I want to just bring it all together, right? That can relate to the plan. And so these goals, remember that a team without a goal is like having rain without an umbrella. That's not true. I walk in the rain all the time. I'm trying to think of what it's like. It's like having a tire without air in it.
[00:15:43] We're planning on going somewhere, but we can't move inside of our car because we don't. It's not filled. It's not filled. It's not clear. Clarity plus confidence equals commitment. And so those goals, these actions, again, all of this ties in together. The actions are within your strategy. Right? I just talked about strategies up above. And so your actions. Actions speak louder than words. Hashtag. Absolutely. Actions speak louder than words. So, as a leader, your actions set the tone for your team, your team, their culture, your team, your environment, your team, your work ethic, your own right. How are you acting in what it is that you're saying you're going to do?
[00:16:24] Actions speak louder than words.
[00:16:28] Actions speak louder than words.
[00:16:31] Okay. Love that, Leticia. I hope I said that correctly. Plan what in strategies, the how to. Oh, absolutely. Hands down. And then clarity plus confidence equals commitment. I believe that so much that I have t shirts that say that. I have sweatshirts that say that clarity plus confidence equals commitment. Why? Those are the three c's to success. How clear we are.
[00:16:55] It increases our confidence, and then it leads to the commitment of how we walk, talk and behave every day. Let's keep on going these perspectives, right? What perspective do you have? Is it only your own perspective? Can you set yourself as a leader into somebody else's perspective? Embrace the diversity of what perspectives might exist around you that's so important? Different viewpoints can lead to innovative solutions in a more inclusive work environment. Absolutely.
[00:17:23] We gotta look, as leaders at the perspective that others might have so that then we can shape and reshape the culture that is around us.
[00:17:34] Diversity is so important. Diversity not only in what people look like around us, but also diversity and thought. And that's why it matters how people think differently. If you even think about your own household, think about the people that's in your household, the people that's in your family, everybody. If you say one thing, everybody's looking at it differently. That could be beautiful. It could lead to a lot of open and honest discussions. And so as a leader of your own organization, as a leader within your own organization, as a leader within your home, how are you pausing to also look at the other perspectives of how somebody else might see that? And as a leader, are you yet confident enough to go back and apologize if, in fact, you recognize that you are wrong, powerful as a leader, you have to be able to say, you know what? I recognize that in that situation, I was wrong.
[00:18:31] In that situation, I could have done more. But let me talk to you about how it will happen the next time, and let me talk to you about how we're rectified. I want to come to you and let you know that this is what it is at this point. Point. But this is how we're going to rectify and moving forward. You can absolutely do that. And so I want us to feel comfortable. Why? Because communication is the key tip of what we need people. Our people need to see us as role models. And in order to do that, sometimes you got to sit back, you got to assess what it is that you've done and is it moving your organization forward? Is it moving you forward? Is it moving your team forward? We're talking about leadership. If it's hindering them, then you're going to have to shift and check yourself before you wreck the whole thing. Sometimes we got to pause in a moment to understand that the perspective is what we're talking about. And then skills. We want to continuously develop our skills. When was the last time you even took a class? When was the last time that if it's leadership you want, TM is always talking about the leadership toolkit. If it's coaching you want, I'm talking to you all the time about me being a powerful coach.
[00:19:40] If it's a book that you need, we have a million people inside of our organization, inside of our, not organization, inside of our purview that have books on so many different things. If it's that you're struggling at home with your child on a certain topic, we have authors that have so many children's books. That's right here. Where is it that you find your gap and how can you use your goals, your actions, your perspective and your skills in order to close the gaps that's there? How can we use our tips, our anecdotes, our plans and our strategies to close everything that we have right here? How can we even not only close it, but far surpass where it is that we thought we were going to go? As a leader, you're so powerful, even if you're not within your own organization, even if you're an entrepreneur, even if you're not working right now, the leader is who I'm talking to right now. You are the leader. You're leading in your homes, right? When we talk about plans, create a project timeline, have some milestones, right?
[00:20:45] Know that, trust that and believe that you have the power to go ahead and put these things in order. Why? Because you got to first recognize that I am the leader. Today I wanted to talk about leader taps, leader gaps, because sometimes we got to shake ourselves up just a little bit in order to shift a little bit differently. I hope that's making sense to people. One of the things I was thinking about when I thought of this topic in a bit, I was laying there, I'm like, oh, leader taps and leader gaps. I talked to you guys about somebody tapping you on the shoulder. I talked to you all about then when somebody taps you on the shoulder, you now seeing that there's a boulder or there's a mountain in front of you, you now being innovative in order to figure out how am I going to go around it? How am I going to go through it? How am I going to jump over it? I want to work harder, not smarter. I'm going to look for the innovation in order to move through this thing.
[00:21:36] Or you realize that, guess what? I need to do a delegated or disappear from it. And that's just something that you're not into right now. So what if you just delegate it to somebody who might have more skills in that area in order to crush that thing in order to move it out of the way?
[00:21:53] What if there's somebody that has skills? What if inside of their toolkit, they have the skills to break that thing down in small and manageable pieces so that now you can shift and navigate through that thing? Sometimes it's not even about removing it out of your way. It's thinking innovatively in order to chop that thing up a little bit, maybe you can't take on the whole 100% for right now, but maybe in this instance, for what needs to be done, you could take on 25% of that, and that feels like the 80 for the 20.
[00:22:21] Maybe that's what needs to happen. But as a leader, we're leveraging our goals, our actions, our perspectives, and our skills in order to close the gap of what might be the gap that we see right in front of us right now.
[00:22:35] That is power in leadership. That is standing up in our confidence, that is recognizing that in our confidence. Okay. I love that. I love that. Oh, now I can see things. So, Leticia says, add value, embody as leaders cultural humility, removing power and imbalance, and institutional accountability. All of those things rolled up into one. Absolutely. We have to be accountable for the tasks that we say that we're going to do. We have to be accountable for our actions. And that's some of what rolled up into what we were talking about before, about our perspectives and then about communication, about leadership overall, about knowing that we have followers, right? Knowing that there's people looking at us every day, knowing that there's people that's depending on the decisions that we make every day. Not so much for it to be pressure on your shoulders, but just recognizing and being aware that we, as we walk, talking, behave every day as leaders, that there's other people that are looking, and our voice makes impact, our actions have impact. There's consequences to the words that we say. There's consequences to the actions that we take. There are consequences to the things that happen to us every day. And sometimes they're ultra positive.
[00:23:52] Sometimes they're ultra positive. My son, who I talk about all the time here, if you're looking at me on any other platforms, I'm holding up this paper with this assessment that he had at school. It's like a benchmark test, and in the beginning of the school year, they do this benchmark, and then they do one around this time frame. And at first, his scores weren't that great. His scores weren't that great. And they look at reading and they look at math. But this particular one I had in front of me is about reading, and his scores weren't that great. And I remember his teachers talking about things like, maybe the honors isn't for him or, you know, he needs. He's lacking effort, he's lacking accountability.
[00:24:34] All of the things, right? And I remember, as TM was saying, that there's been teachers. Sometimes I remember those teachers as well. But I also remember the power of my parents at home who are like, listen, this isn't your greatest. You are a leader in reaffirming me and reminding me that, guess what? I've shown up in this way before. Like, hey, take your time. You know, the work reminding you of the greatness and the leader that is already within you. Right. Just reminding you of those things. And that's so important. That's that communication.
[00:25:05] So, his benchmark test came back the other day. We had a parent teacher conference, and his teacher said, wow, this is going really well. He's above grade level. Like, he's. He's improved vastly. And while I can't take all the credit for that, I will take some of it, because I do believe that as leaders, it is so important for us to remind mind, in this case, my scholar, that's at home. But our teams, ourselves, of what we've already demonstrated, you've already demonstrated to remind us. Don't get caught up in the minutiae. To remind us to put forth your effort. When people say your name, what do they say? And it's not lack of effort. So let's just get that straight. Okay, so what are people saying about you? And if this is what people are saying about you and you're comfortable with that, then okay, but the people that I'm surrounded with, they're not comfortable with that, and that is why we're here right now. So if that is what is coming across, then you got to shift that. You've got to shift, shift that, and that comes in your actions as a leader, we are responsible for shifting, for innovating, for doing something differently in a way that one person receives information might not be the way that another teammate receives the information. So we got to turn those things around. I had to use interventions and strategies. I had to use somebody else. Maybe because it's coming from me, they can't yet receive it, but how can I power that? So maybe somebody else on my team is able to take what it is that I'm saying and do it in a creative way so that now the entire team can hear it. How are you leveraging the resources that are around you? Today was about leadership taps and leadership gaps, and I hope that each one of you all was able to take a little something away from that. All right, thanks, guys. Been so good.
[00:26:56] We have concluded yet another episode of coaching cocktails and conversations. The podcast with Lolita E. Walker. Connect with
[email protected] for speaking, coaching and my books, the intersection of you and change. And can we talk letters and poems to reclaim a bolder you? Listen. Have you already grabbed your CCNC garb?
[00:27:24] Yes, we are coming with tumblers, stimulus glasses, a journal, a hoodie and don't forget the t shirt. We are leaning all the way in. We also know that coaching, cocktails and conversations is a movement. Not only is it paraphernalia, not only is it this powerful podcast that you have right here in this right now, but it is a Zoom cast. It is a coaching community. It is a Facebook group. It is a clubhouse group. Go ahead and lean into lolitawalker.com to see all things coaching, cocktails and conversations. And next time bring a friend. Invite them to like to share and to give that five star review. Cheers. I cannot wait to see you back around my kitchen table for coaching, cocktails and conversations. The podcast with Lolita E. Walker.
